Now that we are getting closer to the Stanley Cup Finals, I figured it was time we took a look at the one tradition that all teams seem to have: playoff beards. The playoff beard has grown from a traditional hockey practice to now a charitable cause, but that won’t stop us from critiquing how they look on the guys. As you’ll see, some of the boys (emphasis definitely on boys) should probably try to avoid the tradition, while others take it to a whole new level.
After the jump, help me hand out a different kind of postseason hardware.
Best Regular Season Beard Turned Playoff Beard
Henrik Zetterberg, Detroit Red Wings
While Henrik always has a perpetual 5 o’clock shadow, he has truly transitioned that scruff to one heck of a beard. The further the Wings go in the playoffs, the more I fear Zetterberg will start to look like Hagrid!
The Best Attempt at a Playoff Beard for Someone Who is Incapable of Growing Facial Hair
Patrick Kane, Chicago Blackhawks
Patrick looks like he is 12, so the thought of him shaving makes me giggle. The thought of him trying to grow a beard? Well that makes me LOL! The stubble in this picture is from the final game against the Vanucks. That was the end of the second round. Roughly a month after the end of the regular season. Nice try, Patrick. We still love you.
Best Fire Beard
Tim Gleason, Carolina Hurricanes
I never really noticed Tim Gleason before this playoff series. So obviously I never knew he was a redhead! I had to give him an award for his nice red beard. It matches his uniform, too.
Best Brother Beards
Eric Staal, Carolina Hurricanes
Jordan Staal, Pittsburgh Penguins
All 3 of the Staal brothers that are currently in the NHL were in the playoffs, but Marc didn’t make it out of the first round, so it’s not fair to add his beard in here. I’m more of a fan of Jordan’s beard, but I would never truly admit that I actually found a Pittsburgh Penguin hot…OK FINE! Jordan Staal is hot! I said it. Moving on…
Best (A.K.A. Hottest) Goalie Beard
Cam Ward, Carolina Hurricanes
While I’m not a fan of facial hair, I would not object to my man having a beard if my man was, in fact, Cam Ward. For some reason, I really like Cam with a beard. Of course we know he’s hot without the beard, but that’s beside the point. My vote goes to Cam for hottest, uh, I mean, the best goalie beard.
The Best Gray Beard
Scott Neidermayer, Anaheim Ducks
Neidermayer may only be 36, but his beard is definitely making him look much older. I had to reach back into the second round to grab up Scotty for this award. He’s definitely had the grayest beard I’ve seen so far in the playoffs. Scotty I only have three words for you: Just. For. Men.
Best Playoff Mustache (non-beard)
George Parros, Anaheim Ducks
George has been rocking the ‘stache all season, but it was in full effect for the playoffs. I guess since he already had facial hair, he opted out of growing a full beard. He did sport some scruff, but the mustache is enough for me to give him this award.
Best Creepy Beard
Sidney Crosby, Pittsburgh Penguins
So as you all know by now, I’m not the biggest fan of Pittsburgh. I’m also not a huge Sidney Crosby fan. I know some of our ladies around these parts just love this guy, so I had to add him here somewhere. His beard has just been creeping me out for awhile now, and I had to mention it. He just looks pervy with this beard. Sid, I’m not your biggest fan, but why do that to your face? You look like you would try to slip something in my drink at a bar, and I know you’re not like that. Work on the beard, Sid.
Best Geico Caveman Beard
Alex Ovechkin, Washington Capitals
And just for comparison’s sake…
You didn’t think I’d do an entire hockey post without mentioning the Caps, did you? Of course this might be a dig at my beloved boys, but seriously, I can’t deny that Ovi looks like a caveman! My dad has been calling him Neanderthal man since we drafted him. Although, his neanderthalness has reached new heights in recent years. Ovi, I don’t know if there’s any advice I can give you to improve this unfortunate circumstance. All I can say is that you have nice eyes, and you would be the best drinking buddy EVER! I’m not an advocate of plastic surgery, so let’s just try to avoid the beard as an immediate fix.
So that was fun! I love the tradition of playoff beards, and it’s always nice to have some fun at their expense. Just ask the guys at Playoffbeard.com. So let us know what you think! Do you know of some playoff beards we’ve overlooked, or a new award we should add? Put ‘em in the comments!