The Olympics are for chicks, and I mean that in absolutely the best way possible. We love the Olympics, and they love us – all the boy athletes we love to lust after have girl counterparts for us to root for, and everybody gets equal time. It’s the best time for hottie-spotting and for women’s sports. What’s not to love? Me, I love the Olympics for the same reason I love so many things: basketball.
See, I adore Team USA, I really do. I love Melo and Wade and Bron, I love Tayshaun, I love Chris Bosh. But I also love international competition, because it allows me to see so many hotties I never would see otherwise. Case in point: Team Spain. Case in point on Team Spain: Ricky Rubio. Does anybody know the Spanish for “wunderkind”?
I’ve stayed up or woken up all this week to watch the games, but my notes are kind of illegible. I mean…well, just look:
JASIKEVICIUS MISSES IT
NOCIONI MISSES IT
CHINA LOVES ARGENTINA, YOU GUYS
MAYBE IT’S ALL THE NAZIS
Oh wait nvm Nazis and Commies didn’t get along.
Anyway they both miss again…
Yeah, it goes on like that. I don’t know either. However, they’ve enabled me to keep track of my numerous new crushes. For example:
The tall blond Russian guy (narrows it down, doesn’t it? Well, he’s a cute one) hits a three. 57-56 with 3:46 in the third. Moxia? Are their names in Cyrillic or am I reading them wrong? Oh: reading it wrong. Sergei Monia. I like him.
Or, in the Angola game:
My word that guy’s cute. Number 8….um…and 6, too…10, Gomez…TO WIKIPEDIA
Ricky picking a rebound from a Chinese player’s hands with ease, dribbling it out towards the line, casually dropping backwards into a no-look behind-the-back pass leading to an uncontested dunk by Pau = LUST. I WILL POINT TO THIS AS THE MOMENT I FELL IN LOVE.
Now, Ricky Rubio is someone worth sharing, definitely. He’s 6’4″, has been playing for Spain since he was twelve and professionally since he was fourteen, has “Ricky” on the back of his uniforms, looks like a gentle Spanish baby turtle, and is…I apologize for this in advance…seventeen.
To be a wunderkind one must first be a kind, right? I mean, he only graduated from high school this spring. It’s okay, though, he’ll be eighteen in October, and legible for next year’s NBA draft (where some have him going as high as second, or even first). I’ve seen him play and, you guys, Andrea Bargnani he is not. He’s the real deal. But, I don’t want to go on too much about him. After all, I’m only four months older than he is and even I feel a bit guilty about how much I love him. So, I’ll hold off for a few months. But, come draft time? It is so on.
So anyway, after all that basketball, I think Spain’s my favorite non-USA team (which made that racist photo all the more awkward; as I told Basketbawful, *headdesk*). They’ve got the best chance to give the USA a close game, and they’re the best I’ve seen in the tournament, by far. Therefore, y’all should know about them. And, besides – Gasol brothers notwithstanding – they’re also quite cute, in a lanky, scruffy, European kind of way.
I’ve got a crush on Felipe Reyes – don’t worry, he’s 29. I don’t think he’s ever coming to the US, but I can appreciate him in international play, at least.
OOPS. Now how did that picture get in there? Damn. Uh…let’s just move on.
Aaaanyway…there’s Rudy Fernandez, who reminds me strongly of Bret from Flight of the Conchords:
Juan Carlos Navarro, who looks incredibly normal next to Pau:
Heck, even Marc Gasol is looking less freakish. I wouldn’t say hot, exactly. Maybe, like, cute for a caveman.
The unfortunate thing about FIBA/Olympic basketball hottie spotting is that it’s hard to find cute pictures of international players. I mean, my google-fu’s pretty good, but my powers can only reach so far, you know? That’s how you get pictures of Marc Gasol, instead of hottie <a href=”http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlos_Morais_(Angola)”>Carlos Moraies</a> from Angola.
Like, I tried to find Team Lithuania pictures of my boy Linas Kleiza. Unfortunately, all the ones with him in uniform have Team USA players making silly faces:
Not so much, you know? I try, you guys, I really do.
The USA is facing Spain tomorrow morning at 10:15, eastern time. China/USA may have been the most-watched basketball game of all time, but this one will be the best of the tournament so far – don’t miss it.