Save Me Tony-Wan Gonzalez!

When I read the story that Tony Gonzalez had saved a choking fan, and Brian Bosworth rescued a woman from a ditch, I only had one thought for these women – LUCKY! Not only were their lives saved, but they were saved by hotties. (Well, Boz was a hottie in his day.) It made me think, if my life is in danger, which athlete would I want to save it?

You can save me any time, Tony!

Aramis Ramirez, Chicago Cubs

In addition to having dreamy eyes and strong arms, Ramirez is a clutch hitter, pulling out homeruns when the Cubbies really need it. This leads me to believe that he would not freeze when I am in peril, but would know exactly what to do to save me from danger, such as a mouse.

Roger Huerta, Lightweight UFC fighter

Yes, Huerta is ridiculously hot and has been a favorite of mine for quite a while. But I turn to Huerta to save me because he is a smart problem solver. When fighting Leonard Garcia, he used the Jumbotron to see where to accurately land strikes. This is the kind of guy you want when stuck in a bus that would blow up if it goes less than 55 mph, or if my bracelets get tangled up in the jewelry box.

Jason Taylor, Defensive End, Miami Dolphins???

Taylor is a big hunk of man – 6’6″ and 255 lbs – so he would have no problem saving me from a tower guarded by a dragon, or the drunk dude who won’t back up at the neighborhood bar. Size alone does not do it, though. With Taylor’s Dancing With the Stars experience, saving my life can turn into a Fred and Ginger-esque dance, thus fulfilling my dream of turning my life into a musical.

If your life is in danger, who do you want to be your knight in shining armor?

10 thoughts on “Save Me Tony-Wan Gonzalez!

  1. I’d say Cole Hamels but he is way too scrawny (still an AMAZING pitcher). So as far as strong man, I’d go with Dwayne Johnson. Okay, he’s a former wrestler turned actor. So what? He’s hot, strong, and really nice!

  2. Mark Grudzielanek. But I’d spend the entire time throughout the rescue effort counting the number of times he says “y’knoooow.” Heh.

  3. For the record, Aramis is the cousin of one “Manny Being Manny” Ramirez..

    I don’t know if that will change your thoughts of him, but it’s good to keep in mind..

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