Chris Paul Does Not Sleep. He Waits.

By La M. Alana


Chris Paul knows the singular of “thumbs up”.

So much I’ve missed to talk about in the last couple of weeks of the NBA playoffs. There was the Hawks…and then there wasn’t the Hawks. There were all the teams that lost, there was Steve breaking my heart again, there was an award for Kobe (and not an award for Al). There were sweeps, a seven game series, and the emasculation of LeBron, if only for a game. There was validation; there was utter wrongness. And, of course, there was Chris Paul.

Chris Paul is, at twenty-two, what Steve took thirty years to reach. He is elite. He is amazing. He had the best statistical season (according to PER) of anyone in NBA history except Michael Jordan: he is the GOATEFMJ. He deserves in-depth contemplation and analysis, which is why I’m not going to analyze a thing…except for cute/funny pictures of him, of course.

Chris Paul…


Chris Paul is adorable.

Chris Paul: c’est le saveur.


Chris Paul is gleeful.

Chris Paul is Obama of the Bayou.


Chris Paul can even make wearing sunglasses at night, inside, look cool.

Chris Paul has eyes in the back of his head.


Chris Paul frightens Jordan Farmar.

When Chris Paul touches fire, he doesn’t get burned. The fire gets Chris Pauled.


Chris Paul LEAPS UPON YOUR CHEST, HAKIM WARRICK!

Chris Paul walks between the raindrops.


Chris Paul says to Tony Parker: “You know we’re going to kick your ass, right?”
Tony Parker says to Chris Paul: “Mais oui, c’est vrai.”

Chris Paul can divide by zero.


And Chris Paul? FEARS NOTHING.

12 Responses to “Chris Paul Does Not Sleep. He Waits.”

  1. mistresschristina Says:

    “Chris Paul LEAPS UPON YOUR CHEST, HAKIM WARRICK!”

    Laughed so hard I nearly peed! Nice work, La!

  2. Chris Paul Now Has a Nickname « Tuffy’s Refrigerator Logic Says:

    [...] Paul Now Has a Nickname After receiving inspiration from the Ladies…, I am pleased to announce I have identified Chris Paul’s new [...]

  3. tiff Says:

    CP3!

    I’ve been Chris Pauled.

  4. fa Says:

    chris paul to tony parker: “you know we’re going to kick your ass right?”

    tony parker to chris paul: “mon cherie, have you seen my 3 rings?”

  5. La M. Alana Says:

    fa: “Mon cherie, have you seen my wife?”
    “Of course I have.”
    “No, I mean, do you know where she is? She went into Manu’s hotel room and I haven’t seen her since.”
    “Uhh…”
    “I mean, one l’invitation por ménage á trois avec Timmy and poof! Ptui, I say.”
    “Uh, I’ll tell you if I see her.”
    “Did I tell you I have three rings?”

  6. Steve Says:

    He should have married Evan Longoria instead. It would have been less emasculating.

  7. beth Says:

    off topic, but i want to say i greatly appreciate the tommy pic in the banner you’ve got going on right now.

  8. Steve Says:

    La M. Alana, is that Franglish that Tony is speaking in that conversation?

  9. Pam Says:

    I am ridiculously attracted to Chris Paul…I think it’s his eyes…

  10. Tuffy’s Refrigerator Logic » Blog Archive » Chris Paul Now Has a Nickname Says:

    [...] receiving inspiration from the Ladies…, I am pleased to announce I have identified Chris Paul’s new [...]

  11. Kal Says:

    I love Chris Paul! I have his jersey and a CP3 for MVP shirt! And his poster is hanging on my wall. I totally love him!!!!!

  12. kanha jones Says:

    Dear to all the hoes
    Fuck all ya’ll because that’s my man bitch!

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