Rocking it out with Dwayne Johnson

oiled goodness

A few weeks ago, the good people at Disney contacted us to tell us Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s movie The Game Plan was coming out on DVD today and did we want to do a little something about it?

In about five minutes, our afternoon email round robin took a decidedly “OMG THE ROCK!! SQUEEEEEEE!!” tone. So today and tomorrow, we’re grooming our eyebrows and sharpening our People’s elbows to bring you Rocky goodness in review, flashback and quiz form.

And you can win stuff! That’s right! We have real, honest to blog prizes to give away.

Smell what the Ladies… are cooking after the jump.

1. Which of these is NOT one of the Rock’s signature moves?

a) The Samoan Drop
b) The Sharpshooter
c) The Mindblower
d) The Spine on the Pine

2. The Rock is an alum of what university?

3. Which of these timelines is the correct progression of the Rock’s career?

a) Heel as part of The Corporation, face with Nation of Domination, feuded with Stone Cold Steve Austin
b) Heel with Nation of Domination, joined The Corporation, feuded with Stone Cold Steve Austin, kicked out of The Corporation, face as The People’s Champion
c) Made out with Stone Cold Steve Austin
d) Founded The Corporation, face with The Corporation, turned heel with The Corporation, eventually succeeded Vince McMahon as CEO of The Corporation

4. Name three characters The Rock played on Saturday Night Live.

5. How many times and for what roles was The Rock nominated for a Razzie?

Final question:

Which was a better catchphrase: “Know your role and shut your mouth” or “Can ya smell what The Rock is cooking?” Please reply in the comments in essay format. Support your opinion with examples. Creativity is strongly encouraged.

Bribes accepted.

19 thoughts on “Rocking it out with Dwayne Johnson

  1. 1. d (wild guess)
    2. Tha U (Miami) – 100% certain
    3. b, c, a, d (another wild guess)
    4. Yo momma, Yo baby momma, and Yo baby momma momma (another wild guess)
    5. I hope to God it was for his part in Doom, as that movie was a piece of shite.
    6. Know your role and shut your mouth (obviously).

    How did you Ladies…get hooked up with Disney? You’re aware that they own ESPN right? Fraternizing with the enemy, tsk, tsk.

  2. 1. D
    2. Miami
    3. B
    4. a bad actor, a worse actor, and the worst actor ever.
    5. All of them, if the Razzies are to have any whiff of credibility
    6. “Know your role and shut your mouth,” because I broke up with a boyfriend using that line once.

  3. 1. c (guessing)
    2. DA U (Miami)
    3. b
    4. skipped that episode
    5. 8, 5 for Doom and 3 for Be Cool
    6. Know your role and shut your mouth, because he jacked it from Ed Orgeron — the Rock was a defensive lineman at the U playing for Coach O.

  4. 1) E: The Swedish Reacharound

    2) School of Hard Knocks

    3) Lost track after B.

    4) Uncle Touchy, Third Man from Left, Captain Underpants

    5) Early, often, forever.

    Bonus: Can ya smell and shut your mouth

  5. 1. Which of these is NOT one of the Rock’s signature moves?

    e) The Starting NFL Lineman (ouch, sorry, couldn’t resist)

    2. The Rock is an alum of what university?

    The U! aka Miami University, FL

    3. Which of these timelines is the correct progression of the Rock’s career?
    b)

    4. Name three characters The Rock played on Saturday Night Live.
    Paper, Scissors, and, in a stunning surprise, “Rock”. No idea

    5. How many times and for what roles was The Rock nominated for a Razzie?
    1 time for Walking Tall (or whatever that sheriff movie is).

    Final question:
    I would argue “Can ya smell what the Rock is cooking” is the better catchphrase. “Know your role” is merely an attempt to make a competitor inferior, and may backfire if their “role” is bigger than yours. But “Can ya smell” goes directly towards hyping The Rock’s little known side hobby as sushi chef. It’s particularly ironic because there is no real cooking involved. Thus, I must vote for “Can ya smell.”

  6. I got this, yo. I got the SNL on tape somewhere, probably recorded between videos of Tantric, Disturbed, and 3 Doors Down. One of them was a guy that kicked your ass to help you stop smoking, I remember that. I think he dressed up as a woman to dance with Chris Kattan and Will Ferrell as well. Oh, and then he was a monkey boy brother or something to Chris Kattan’s monkey character. Oh, the other questions:

    1. D
    2. The U of Miami – where he Rock-like went off on WVU fans in an old mag I still have, but thats besides the point.
    3. B
    4. see above
    5. I’m going with 1 for that movie with the guy from American Pie, where he saves some village or something. Don’t remember the name.
    6. Better phrase: Can you smell what the Rock is cooking.
    Many reasons:
    – Better to put on t-shirts so WW (then) F could move more product. Economics 101.
    – Better crowd participation with slogan. Said slower so fans could join in and be cocky like the Rock. Public Relations 101.
    – You need to be tongue-dexterous in order to do it right (Smelllllllll….). The ladies liked that, for obvious reasons. Sexual Psychology 101.

    I’m done.

  7. The Rock gets it done because he had, potentially, the worst finishing move of all time. The People’s Elbow was ridiculous beyond belief, but it only became awesome when Triple H would sell it like crazy. The Rock would drop the elbow on him and he would spit in the air like he was doing a spit take for a bad comedy show.

    Also, I will take the bribery route. What can I get for the Ladies to ensure my place in the winner’s circle??

  8. In a recent fit of WWF nostalgia, I started wearing an armband/elbow thingie just so I could tear it off dramatically at opportune times and drop an elbow in someone’s ribcage. Unfortunately, in real life those opportune times are hard to come by, and often result in police involvement.

    :(

  9. his best line was “IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!” but again, choosing between his best lines is like choosing which victoria secret model to date…hmm, or for the ladies… which chippendale dancer you’d have a go with

  10. It makes me kind of sad that I can do so well on this quiz.

    1. c
    2. University of Miami, FL
    3. b
    4. He played an undercover cop dressed as a woman, the brother/father/whatever to Mr. Peepers (possibly the worst SNL character ever), and Nicotrel, a smoking deterrent in human form. Nicotrel, it should be noted, was legitimately hilarious (“YOU DON’T TALK TO NICOTREL LIKE THAT!!!!”).
    5. 1, for Doom (Wikipedia has never let me down before, and won’t let me down now!).

    Final question:
    It has to be “Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?”, if only for the existential ramifications behind the question. After all, if you can, indeed, smell what the Rock is cooking, then either you have access to the brainwaves of said Rock, or (and this is the creepy part), *you are actually The Rock himself*. “Know your role and shut your mouth” is just a badass thing to say.

    BTW, congrats on your current first place standing in the Sporting News 1986 Redux competition. Geaux Blue Jays!

  11. 1. B
    2. Miami
    3. B
    4. Ooooh, these stopped being wrestling questions. I lose. He played Mr. Peepers (the monkey) buddy, and a chick. I don’t know.
    5. Doom?
    6. His best line was when he was being interviewed by Lillian Garcia, and she looked him up and down, and just as her eyes lowered, the Rock covered his crotch and said “Lillian Garcia, don’t stare at the People’s Package! Oh no, no, no, the buffet is CLOSED!” Best actual catch-phrase, “if ya smellllllllllllllllllllllllll, what the Rock … is (cock People’s eyebrow) cookin”

  12. i wish the rock comes back to the wwe but i dont know y he quit is it becuase they BOOD!! him in 2003? his like the great 1 to me and to my brothers hes like an icon and i feel that his coward now that he quit so please rock come back and show them who’s boss and dont only match with old wrestlers like HHH and STONECOLD always go with the big guys like umaga, undertaker, big daddy v, kane, and get your revenge from randy orton when it was your last match in history. bye kisses!!!

  13. The rock is without a shadow of a doubt the absaloute best the industy has ever seen, and he was always the most entertaining in his reign at the wwf, if ya smell what the rock is cooking !!

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