Don’t Trade Jacoby to Minnesota

Few players around here are more popular than our mascot Jacoby Ellsbury, so when his name is mentioned as part of a trade for the Twins Johan Santana, his fans get a little upset.

Ladies commenter Bryanna found this cute and catchy song “Don’t Trade Jacoby” on Kyle’s Sketches MySpace page imploring Theo Epstein to hold on to Ellsbury.

Hey Theo I got something to tell ya, about a certain trade with Minnesota,
Yeah Johan he’s the man, and to get him do whatever you can.
But there’s just one player that just cant go, and I’ll give you one hint he’s a Navajo.

Don’t trade Jacoby to Minnesota, please don’t say that I never told ‘ya..
When he’s a Hall of Fame center fielder,
Yeah Theo Epstein you’re gonna feeluhhhhhhhhh dumb.

Who cares about the Twins these days, now that Torii Hunter went to L.A.
All they got now is Delmon Young, soon just like his brother he’ll be a bum.
We can’t send Jacoby to the Metrodome, because Fenway Park is his true home.

Don’t trade Jacoby to Minnesota, please don’t say that I never told ‘ya.
When he’s a Hall of Fame center fielder,
Yeah Theo Epstein you’re gonna feeluhhhhhhhhh dumb.

In 33 games he hit 3 home runs, it’s better than our resident right field bum,
And at the tender age of 24, he’s a better looking version of Grady Sizemore.
Give em Lester, Lowrie, and Coco, but our boy Jacoby just cannot go.

But if he does go I’ll always know, that by stealing second base,
He won me a free taco, so I could stuff my face.

Don’t trade Jacoby to Minnesota, please don’t say that I never told ya
When he’s a Hall of Fame center fielder,
Yeah Theo Epstein you’re gonna feeluhhhhhhhhh dumb.

Seriously. It is hard to not clap along with the guys at the end of this song.

But if he does go I’ll always know, that by stealing second base, He won me a free taco, so I could stuff my face.”

Future Hall of Famer. Winner of free tacos.

Yeah Epstein. You’re going to feel dumb if you trade Jacoby.

25 thoughts on “Don’t Trade Jacoby to Minnesota

  1. And at the tender age of 24, he’s a better looking version of Grady Sizemore.

    Ok, I get it that it had to rhyme, but this is clearly not true in my eyes.

  2. “Who cares about the Twins these days?” I still do, and I want at least Jacoby or Lester. At least; come on Boston, don’t you have it good enough? Please leave the rest of something to care about…

  3. Try clapping along with the end of the song. Seriously. There’s some sort of mysterious, pentamic rhythm at work here that defies all logic of music. (I think the guys also started snapping fingers, too, which merely adds to the percussive confusion.)

  4. Me and buddy wrote this tune then recorded it Sunday night. We were pissed at these rumors. Seriously, girls, you may think he’s good looking. but this kid may be the next joe dimaggio.

    Yeah. its kind of a weird clap we put at the end.

    and yeah, ijustmadethatup, i started snapping.

    we were doing the last vocal part and i just got so into i started to snap. and it stuck.

    what can i say? my boy jacoby got my heart and soul into this song.

  5. Pingback: Cheap Shots #83: Pretty In Pink? « Signal to Noise

  6. @ Kyle – Dude, I’m not bagging against your song. It’s phenomenal. You guys did a terrific job. I just couldn’t help but get absolutely carried away with it when you and your friend started the dual-chorus and began clapping and snapping. That’s just fantastic. Great job!

  7. i’m really glad you guys are all liking the song.

    show it to your friends if you’re really down for the jacoby cause. we gotta save our favorite navajo.

    anyone have any info. on his signing going on friday?

  8. As much as we hate to see Johan go, we Twins fans are realistic in that our owner (though he may be the richest owner in the MLB) will not put forth the money to re-sign Santana after the season. So, I’d much rather we make a valuable trade now. I will welcome Jacoby to Minneapolis with open arms if the trade is made. Perhaps I’ll give him a personal tour… including a special stop off at my apartment.

  9. I do love this song. I downloaded it last night and the play count is currently at 31.

    “Seriously, girls, you may think he’s good looking. but this kid may be the next joe dimaggio.”

    The best-looking thing about him is his playing, are you kidding? I’d rather watch him play (or his numbers) than watch his face, and that’s saying something. :)

  10. we’re gonna try to take this song to the signing and try to get jacoby fans to sing along and show theo our support of the man who should be our starting center fielder next year.

    good plan?

  11. I know there are a lot of Red Sox fans here, but can we get a post on the Tigers blockbuster deal? Everyone in Detroit is talking about it; crazy how excited we are (and lets be honest, some good looking guys moving around). Sign me up for every game this year…

  12. they’d better keep him. also, has anyone seen these other websites and forums about him and his girlfriend? some girls are vicious AND insane. leave her alone! she’s a gorgeous girl and she just happened to get lucky that her college boyfriend made it big. he’s a hot guy and a great player – why are they slamming his girlfriend? it’s just really bizarre to me. she didn’t ask for any of this attention. let them have their privacy!

  13. i think trading jacoby is what he needs boston has talent but i think a twins team can make him a better starter plus you have to think play twins your a starter stay with red sox you go back to triple a sox that means your demoted.

  14. OMG… all you have to do is look at his sweet face and you no hes the HOTTEST GUY to walk the face of the earth. He has a killer swing and hes fast as lightening …whats not to like?? Lovee the song, i was singing right along!<3

  15. HOLY MOTHER!! This guy is the hotttesstttt person ever. Dont be hatin because your not as special to me as him … its IMPOSSIBLE

  16. Jacoby is the reason that the Red Sox are amazing he is georgous and the most beautiful athlete in the entire world this guy is amazing DONT TRADE JACOBY HAVE A HEART DONT BREK MY HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

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