Saturday Morning Hate Sex

By Holly

I have a confession to make, for those of you who’ve stuck with this feature all this time. It’s been a source of much discussion, caused a couple of you gentlemen to inexplicably criticize my housekeeping, and it’s time to know the truth: That is not my bedroom, over there to your left. I Googled “unmade bed” the day I started this series and the rest is history. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused. (That said, I do love the sheets, and I’d kill a man for those shelves.)

Home stretch, girls. And what a ride. If there’s one comfort we can take into bowl season, it’s that the number of upsets and disasters is such that no one’s humiliation remains front page news for long.

(If there’s a second comfort, it’s that we get pretty faces and forearms of boys marginally too young for us to ogle before soldiering on the following week.)

Lean with me, rock with me, jump with me:

For SA and her Michigan Wolverines: Chris Wells, RB, Ohio State. 222 yards on the ground in the biggest game of the year, and only a sophomore. That rose looks mighty fetching on you, kiddo.

chris_wells.jpg

For Andrea and her Iowa Hawkeyes: Tim Hiller, QB, Western Michigan. 367 hards passing, 3 scores, no picks…also a sophomore! Break this young Bronco in early.

tim_hiller.jpg

For Clare and her Pitt Panthers: Ray Rice, RB, Rutgers. His numbers are no great shakes this week, but if the Scarlet Knights’ losses this year have shown us anything, it’s that Ray Rice IS the Rutgers offense. He also leads the Big East in smoldering.

ray_rice.jpg

Today in Ladycentric Rivalry Week action (all times Eastern):

  • USF @ Pitt, 12:00, ESPN+
  • Tennessee @ Kentucky, 1:30, CBS
  • Wake Forest @ Vanderbilt, 2:00, PPV

Y’all play nice, now.

14 Responses to “Saturday Morning Hate Sex”

  1. Brian Says:

    You forgot UConn at West VA. for a berth in the BCS and maybe for WV a chance at #1. Also Kansas vs. Missouri for the 116th time, (53-53-9) all time for a possible National Championship Game and #1 as well.

    The sheets are all right, unless they’re at least 350 thread count supima cotton then there’s no point coveting anything. ;)

  2. Holly Says:

    Games posted = our alma maters. Hence the “Ladycentric”.

    (And my sheets are 600tc.)

  3. SA Says:

    I’d kill a man for those shelves.

    Me too.

  4. Holly Says:

    HOME SWEET HOME TO MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY

  5. athleticsupporter Says:

    Just so you ladies don’t have to kill anybody…visit your neighborhood ikea

    http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/S29837891

    (you just gotta get the right color and some doors for it)

  6. Holly Says:

    It seems like a quick stab job would be easier than hanging doors.

  7. TheStarterWife Says:

    Finding someone with the correct bookshelves, killing them, taking the body out to the desert (including a stop for lye at a Home Depot in Victorville or Palm Springs – depending on which desert you out drive to), burying them, driving back, and putting your own books on the shelves would still be faster and easier than suffering either the Carson or Burbank IKEA and assembling them yourself.

  8. Holly Says:

    Seriously. The one in Burbank doesn’t even have parking.

  9. JB* Says:

    How the hell does an IKEA not have parking?? Wow.

    A wonderful game today, Holly. Sure, I’d prefer it went the other way, but… it’s Kentucky. It’s 23 years now. I should have expected it.

  10. athleticsupporter Says:

    The one up here in Emeryville is built on an Indian burial ground… so you could probably hit everything in one simple stop if you were interested in doing the killing anyway.

  11. DougOLis Says:

    You have no idea how disappointed I am that is not your bedroom. My day is ruined.

  12. Moonshine Mike Says:

    Um, it’s not even a messy bedroom. Not by most guy’s standards.

    I’m not into bookshelves in the bedroom though. But they are nice.

  13. Chief Wahoo Says:

    Bookshelves next to the bed are a great place to stash certain things that are best kept close at hand.

    Not that Holly is that kind of girl, of course.

  14. Holly Says:

    Of course.

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