Approximately 13 hours. That’s how much time Texas Gal and I each–each!–spent trying to buy World Series tickets on Monday and Tuesday. Granted, I’m unemployed and probably would’ve just spent those hours rearranging my fridge magnets or seeing how many Teddy Grahams I could fit into my mouth at once, but still…
See, the Rockies were selling Series tickets on their website starting on Monday but the servers crashed faster than Kiefer Sutherland on a three day bender. After many postponed press conferences and a cryptic reference to “malicious attacks”, they tried again yesterday. Lots of people managed to get tickets…just not us.
What could we do, except document our quest for tickets? Join us for “The Five Stages of ColoradoRockies.Com”
Monday: Day One
aka “Maybe If We Just Keep Refreshing the Page…”
TexasGal: Their web server keeps timing out- but I’m going to hit refresh until I can’t any more…
GordonShumway: I’m doing the same thing. I’ve been kicked to 3 different servers (ev14, ev15, ev8) and I hope like mad that one of them will finally connect. One of them has to connect.
TexasGal: ME TOO. Same 3. They seem to have me on ev8 now- and I’m hoping that’s the lucky one.
GordonShumway: I’m on ev8 too. Waiting for it…waiting for it…waiting for it…
TexasGal: Now I’m in the purple text/countdown room, just can’t get past it.
GordonShumway: The purple room? It’s like you found the warp zone or something. I’m waiting for ev14 again. Hooray.
GordonShumway: Finally got the purple room!
GordonShumway: Aaaaaand….promptly lost it. It counted down twice and now I’m waiting for ev8 again.
TexasGal: Waiting For Ev8 by Samuel Beckett
GordonShumway: A Tragicomedy in Two Acts. And Three Servers.
TexasGal: I am going bonkers.
aka: “What is EFFING Wrong With This EFFING SITE? COME ON!”
GordonShumway: This is so tedious! Maybe some of the others will have to give up and go back to, like, doing their jobs or something.
TexasGal: GOOD LORD PEOPLE! Go do your work and leave us unemployed people alone!
GordonShumway: Yeah, go put some papers in a folder or order a new desk chair or something. Get busy.
TexasGal: GOD THIS SUCKS. WE’VE REFRESHED FOR TWO AND A HALF HOURS? REALLY?
GordonShumway: There are serious server problems, apparently. I googled a couple Denver TV stations and they’re all reporting that as of noon mountain time, only a few people had managed to buy tickets. The Rockies’ brass are holding a press conference soon.
TexasGal: They’re reporting now that ticket selling is suspended.
ColoradoRockies.com: This morning the Rockies’ ticketing provider Paciolan experienced a system wide outage that is impacting all of their North American customers. They are working hard to resume service as soon as possible and apologize to their customers and all fans for this impact.
GordonShumway: The Denver Channel is reporting now that they’ve had to close some streets around Coors Field because of heavy pedestrian traffic. I have a mental image of the torch-bearing villagers from Frankenstein.
TexasGal: The Colorado Rockies say they will once again sell World Series tickets through their Web site starting on Tuesday at noon. They say the system was brought down on Monday by an “external malicious attack.”
GordonShumway: A malicious attack? If we cannot buy World Series tickets, the Terrorists win.
TexasGal: THREAT LEVEL PURPLE!!!!!!!
GordonShumway: I still sincerely believe that the Boston Red Sox will read about our miserable time in Cleveland and reward us with tickets to the Series. And then they will build me a new house out of unicorn bones.
Tuesday: Day Two
aka: “Surely, Things Will Go More Smoothly Today”
GordonShumway: My Purple Room is about to time out… it’s doing that “waiting for ev3.evenue.net” shit again. The shit they were supposed to fix!
TexasGal: This stupid site STILL keeps timing out.
GordonShumway: I HATE YOU COLORADOROCKIES.COM! I HATE YOU AND YOUR ASS FACE!
aka “At This Point, I’m Even Willing to Start Thinking of Others”
GordonShumway: I talked with one of our commenters who lives in Colorado. Since he’s looking for a pair of tickets and we’re looking for a pair, we agreed to buy four and sell the extras to each other. That has to be good karma, right?
TexasGal: OK, so I’ll buy 4 if I get through. That’s a big “if“
GordonShumway: Yeah, the kind of “if” like “if I see Dustin Pedroia on the street, he will fall madly in love with me, give me a piggyback ride, and we’ll share a cup of pudding” kind of “if“.
TexasGal: He has such an attitude, I love it. Like, his tiny body cannot contain all of his awesomeness, so it explodes into this huge egotastic attitude. I love him so much.
GordonShumway: I do too. He’s adorable and I want to snuggle with him and trade articles of clothing since we are exactly the same size.
aka “Why Do I Want to Listen to Dashboard Confessional Right Now?”
GordonShumway: I’m just insanely worried that I just paid to fly across the country to watch the games in a bar.
The Denver Channel: Rockies Tickets Appear Hard To Come By … Again
In the first hour of the second attempt at online Colorado Rockies World Series sales, it appeared few to no fans were able to buy tickets. Some people appeared to be close to buying tickets but their connections were timed out early Tuesday afternoon.
GordonShumway: Ugh. I hate this placeholder screen and I hate the stupid Rockies logo and I hate the color purple.
TexasGal: The movie?
Shug: I think it pisses God off when you walk by the color purple in a field and don’t notice it.
TexasGal: Apparently, they’re expecting a sellout any minute now.
GordonShumway: How exactly do I type out that I’m choking on my own sobs?
aka “Our Plane Tickets Are Non-Refundable and We’ve Already Made Posters”
Author’s note: We are kind of scrambling to find seats for the weekend so we can see our beloved Boston Red Sox. We’re checking out all of the usual sites and calling strangers on craigslist, but most of the craigslist want ads are from people
–whose doctors told them they would die immediately upon completion of Game 3 if they weren’t at Coors Field
–women who mention their Ford Fiesta-sized breasts and their willingness to trade sexual favors for Rockpile seats
–Men who just need two seats and hope that someone will help them carry their daughter’s iron lung into the stadium
How can we compete with that? I could tell people that I have the body of a rock star… they’d just be disappointed to learn that it was Clay Aiken. Most of the ticket brokers are way out of our price range. Did I mention I’m unemployed? And that those Teddy Grahams are store brand, like “Harris Teeter’s Box of Bear Bits” or something?
So, for reals, if anyone has any reasonably priced (read: I’m willing to sell my plasma, but not my eggs) seats for Games 3 or 4, let us know. We’ll even make you a sign.