“The Pet Rose of Football.”

FanHouse‘s whirlpool of news is an essential daily stop for a sports fan. Michael David Smith is a particular favorite of mine, and I followed his coverage of the Patriots’ scandal with interest. And because this is the internets, and because drama brings out the crazypants, it’s time once again for AOL Comment Thread Poetry Slam. (Previous episodes can be found here and here.)

belichick.jpg

As always, I swear, I did not make any of these up. Original spelling, grammar, and punctuation have been preserved. All [sic]s implied. Also, a couple of the stanzas rhyme, but that’s a total accident.

THE PET ROSE OF FOOTBALL.

we were mistaken, the patriots
(small p on purpose)

Michael Corleone
said it best
when he said, “It was between the brothers Kay”.
Also,
Belichek could have never outfoxed Santino
BUT he does it to the Jets all the time.

AND YOU PEOPLE,
WHO ARE AS SOFT AS MAKE-UP REMOVING COTTON BALLS,
JUDGE HIM

Dont play lily white all of a sudden.

AND GUESS WHAT
IT IS NOT ILLEGAL TO DO SO
BUT THEY WAY THEY SUPPOSIVELY DID
IT WAS BIG DEAL
WHO CARES

in that case
that must mean
that the patriots
are the only team dumb enought to get caught doing it.

i wish they would have
cheated
a little better
since they havent won a super bowl in two years
lol

Well just like politics;
here goes football.
I’m taking up cricket
and it sho nuff ain’t rocket science

I pray to God(tm) that this is proven true
I hope it true. I hate the Pats
band them for the year.i hate them anyway.

Can you say snakebitten?
It seems the Mad Scientist B.B.
is conkniving after all.

AND YOU PEOPLE, WHO ARE AS SOFT AS MAKE-UP REMOVING COTTON BALLS, JUDGE HIM

the pats have yet another asterick ***
you dumb-ass fans buying this loaded shoot gun
DONT BE A BUM BUM HEAD SEE THE PATS AT THE SUPPER BOWL !!!!

hey clown sure lets take
theor home tvs away to
yes your a clown
your Patriots behavior is Lake Scum Sleezy.

I’m a COWBOY FAN,
and they NEVER had to cheat to do it.
I am not fans of those on list.
But cheat is cheat.
stop calling the kettle black and look at your own team go buc’s

i can listen to Dale Earnhart jrs whole ‘driving strategy’ by loging in and paying a small fee at Nascar.com.

AND YOU PEOPLE,
WHO ARE AS SOFT AS MAKE-UP REMOVING COTTON BALLS,
JUDGE HIM

THE PLAY WERE THE BALL
HIT THE DB IN TEH BACK
CALL PASS INTERFERANCE
NOT EVEN A CALL IN TEH PLAY BOOK
BALL ONE YRD LINE
IN THE FRIENDSHIP RING WITH GOODALL.

Please NFL, somebody please sign Mike Rumph to your team roster soon! He is a hard hitter safety from the cornerback position who can still play this game.
You see what he did to Terrell Owens a couple of years ago. The former Miami Hurricane has got to back in the game!

AND YOU PEOPLE,
WHO ARE AS SOFT AS MAKE-UP REMOVING COTTON BALLS,
JUDGE HIM

MINIMUM Punishment should have been Belicheet
OUT of the country
for 4 games minimum

everyone wants to pentalize for life!
cheated got caught and finded
Kick him out,and slap his mom around
if she’s still alive.

Viva Commish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mr. Commisher is cheating
Let’s shoot the hot dog vendor too!

SPIES SPIES
we have lots of those here
their call osama and his crew…… watch your backs………. GET A FILTHY LIFE!!!

I bet if Bob Taglibue
(whatever his name is)
was the commish
Yes, it is a big deal.
Imagine if you are playing Madden
on XBOX
and you knew what defenses were going to do…

Getting an edge over another team
should be about knowing which cleats to wear
and how to hydrate better,
not illegally having a private YouTube of team signals at halftime.

I think Belichick is a mean man!!!
He treats people terrible!
You and your kids are all IDIOTs!

AND YOU PEOPLE,
WHO ARE AS SOFT AS MAKE-UP REMOVING COTTON BALLS,
JUDGE HIM

Clint, you must be a liberal.
You spend all your time
blaming people for caughting
your dumb ass coach in the act.

I am a very very big NE fan on 9-11-01 we had an attack on our country and the towers came crashing down the worst day of so many people’s live’s even mine after all 9-11 is my birthday then on 9-11-07 i hear that the patriots are being accused of cheating then my heart came crashing down 2nd worst day of my life

hillery did it…..sounds like something democrats do

You make the choice.
You can defend your Patriots
and go home and beat your wives

If this keeps up I’m going to join my wife
in watching
Desperate Housewives!

While you are watching
Desperate Housewives
may your wife break the rules
and go out and cheat on you.

So what if his personal life
he cheated on his wife.
I give my left nut if no one that posted here has cheated on anyone.
yeah I know i get to keep my left nut.
besides for an older lady she IS kind of hot.

AND YOU PEOPLE,
WHO ARE AS SOFT AS MAKE-UP REMOVING COTTON BALLS,
JUDGE HIM

.Am I in
the womens sports forum?
Cause this reads like an episode of The View,
not that I ever watch that crap anyway.

also
did the patriots know
that donavan mcnabb was going to throw up on the field ?
did they know the eagles suck
GO JUMP OFF A BUILDING OR BRIDGE

,i am 100iq points dummer for reading what you wrote
wuzzy web page
print the facts.afraid
to print the funny X_RATED crap too
F@#K “BELLYDICK”

PUT YOUR HEADS IN YOUR ASSES
DRINK SOME BEERS
and enjoy the season.

How many of these remarks are from N.Y.
who have nothing to do but complain,
we N.Englanders have more to worry about
we have the Red Sox
and from the way things are going they surely are not cheating.

Coaches fine = $500k /
Team fine = $250k /
Future draft picks lost = $free agents /
QB knowing when the blitz is coming $$$
Priceless $$$

in bellicheck we trust.
bill keep doing whatever it takes to win
you are on one side of the argument!
you must be that side’s fan!

AND YOU PEOPLE,
WHO ARE AS SOFT AS MAKE-UP REMOVING COTTON BALLS,
JUDGE HIM

……….Goodbye Patsy!!!!!!!!!

HE AINT NO MORE SPECIAL
This is a bunch of HOG-HOOGLE.

see you sundaynite.

…dear lord, calm down people. Have a Fresca or something.

23 thoughts on ““The Pet Rose of Football.”

  1. also
    did the patriots know
    that donavan mcnabb was going to throw up on the field ?
    did they know the eagles suck
    GO JUMP OFF A BUILDING OR BRIDGE

    That was my favorite, no idea why.

  2. Now this is art! This is why I waste time on the internet. :p

    The poem is kind of like those modern art masterpieces which are constructed by welding together scraps salvaged from a junk yard.

    Beautiful.

    Will

  3. STN, it’s unfortunate that the commenter in question doesn’t know that trans-Atlantic phone calls and the internets are available on all 7 continents. They could have banished him to Africa for 4 games and he could still videoconference with his coaches.

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  5. the pats have yet another asterick ***
    you dumb-ass fans buying this loaded shoot gun
    DONT BE A BUM BUM HEAD SEE THE PATS AT THE SUPPER BOWL !!!!

    I’m kicking myself for not using bum bum head in preschool. Holly, thank you for the great works of art you’ve given us in the past couple days, both here and on your rack.

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  9. Twittering back, Mr Tharoor has negotiated the “cattle class” slight uncomfortably, arguing that it was a “silly expression” not meant to disrespect economy travellers. Instead, he says, it was airline companies who “herded passengers in like cattle”.

    Meanwhile, Tharoor apologised on his Twitter page. His apology was sent in a series of tweets that went thus: holy cows are NOT individuals but sacrosanct issues or principles that no one dares challenge. Wish critics wld look it up i now realize i shldnt assume people will appreciate humour.

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