Last week Holly’s Vawls, SA’s Wolverines, and J-Money’s Demon Deacons were dealt body blows by Cal, Appalachian State, and Boston College. But that’s yesterday’s news. Let us move on, brothers and sisters. Let us celebrate week two of the season, beginning in just a few hours. Let us heal. And what heals like a little morning hate sex? Nothing, that’s what.
Join us after the jump for a little “Hail to the Victors”, if you know what I mean.
De’Sean Jackson, Cal. Returns punts with such a fury we were kicking it out of bounds by the second quarter.
Matt Ryan, Boston College. Threw five touchdowns against the defending ACC Champion.
Corey Lynch, Appalachian State. Blocked what would have been Michigan’s winning field goal.
Thank you, boys. Yes, you’re very pretty. Now let us never speak of this again. Sssssshhhhhh. We don’t need you to talk.