Hump Day Hottie: Jarrod Saltalamacchia

What did the fans of the Texas Rangers do to get so lucky? Not only did they land my darling Kason Gabbard, they also picked up the hottest guy on the market, Jarrod Saltalamacchia. And they’ve already assimilated him!

Let’s travel back to The Day, you know- two days ago. Back when all was right with the world, and Salty was in the red and blue of the Braves, instead of the red and blue of the Rangers. This will be the only time you ever hear me say something good about the Braves- but their roster is chock full of hotties, and it’s sad to see Jarrod relegated to Dallas. At least he’ll have Kason to keep him kompany– they can share their letter-related woes as well: since Kason was stuck with a typo maybe Jarrod can lend him a spare letter.

See a full lineup of Salty-in-Braves goodness after the jump…


Imagine the points you’d get in Scrabble for that.


Is that a tattoo I spy, Salty?


That’s why Salty landed on the Best Asse(t)s list.


He wrote the initials of each of his grandmothers on the shoulders of his catcher’s gear for Mother’s Day. So sweet!


Wild curls


Francoeur AND Salty? Whoa.


And he loves Dad, too. I love those forearms.

This entry was posted in Atlanta Braves, Hump Day Hottie, MLB, Texas Gal, Texas Rangers by Texas Gal. Bookmark the permalink.

About Texas Gal

Pitched four years for the Philadelphia Athletics, and then played shortstop for seven years for the Montreal Expos. Taught Rickey Henderson to steal a base. Taught Nolan Ryan to throw a punch. Taught Mickey Mantle to drink a beer. Threw one seven-hitter and seven no-hitters. Wonderboy was my creation, and first Jobu shrine was in my locker. Often called "the next Dustin Pedroia". Always wear high socks and eyeblack. Prefer to slide headfirst.

44 thoughts on “Hump Day Hottie: Jarrod Saltalamacchia

  1. What did the fans of the Texas Rangers do to get so lucky?

    Yeah really. Salty, Kason Gabbard, AND they play Old 97′s songs on the PA between innings? Geez. Must be nice to be a Ranger.

  2. Did y’all here this story goin’ around that Salty married a 37-year-old teacher from his high school? Is it wrong that I think this makes him even more intriguing? Yes, yes it probably is…

  3. Clare: still stunned at a 23 year old marrying a 37 year old.

    (And maybe a little jealous – I hope I can land a twenty-something in my mid-30s.)

    And that last pic? HOTT.

  4. I fully endorse catchers wearing the “old” separate face mask and helmet; it’s much better than the hockey style mask. It allows for pictures like some of the ones above. Wowza.

  5. Oh my dear sweet Jesus.

    HOT. HOT HOT HOT. Wow.

    Forearms…ass…tongue…BICEP TATTOO…no longer a Brave…mmmmGUH.

    And he has a really freaking awesome last name, too.

  6. i’m glad salty isn’t on the braves anymore, so i can cheer him on, especially when he catches for gabbard. um.

  7. Yeah, I’m back.

    I just noticed something…in the second to last picture…is that another tattoo on his left ring finger, or is it just the way the picture looks? Will have to investigate further.

  8. Billyfabs- I can’t believe I didn’t think of that. Kason pitching, Salty catching… WHOA. I’m going to watch every time Kason pitches to catch that awesomeness.

    Chasevid- I didn’t notice that… good eye. It does look like another tattoo.

  9. And I just added another new picture of him in the Texas uni at the top of the post- that just looks weird, no? When I see Kason wearing “Texas” across his chest, I might faint.

  10. In the fifth picture from the bottom what I wouldn’t give to change places with that umpire *sigh*!!!! I love catchers!!!

  11. oh. my. god. bless your hearts.

    I think I should become an ump so I can put my hand on the back of Jarrod Saltamacchia’s hip. The getting spit on and screaming would be worth it. Swoon.

  12. They did have that female ump that everyone made a big deal of earlier in the season- but I think she was at 3B. I doubt they will ever let a woman ump behind the plate. But I would take that job in a second.

  13. Then what would REALLY be the point of being an ump if you wouldn’t be allowed behind the plate in the majors. I mean there are some catchers I would not want to stand behind!

  14. I can’t even…
    I don’t…
    I can’t…
    I’m speechless. I think I’m crying. He’s… gorgeous. The fact that he is no longer a Brave… I don’t even know what to say. Just look at that second picture there of him squatting… and his curls… Wow. Just… Wow. My fingers are all tingly.

  15. Yea, he’s pretty much beautiful. Thanks for adding yet another guy for me to lust over! I’m going to need to get Extra Innings just to watch all of these boys.

  16. Why couldn’t the Braves have sent Salty to KC and Davies to Texas – we need something to cheer us up here! So hot, want to touch the heinie….

  17. That IS a tattoo that reads “SALTY” down his upper arm. I’ve seen it in person. Seen his wife in person too, and she’s…well, I’m going to be nice and just say that her skin looks like leather. And not in a good way.

    Salty is kinda cute, but I like what we got for him. Tex is a cutie, and more age-appropriate for me. ;)

  18. I don’t really think age-appropriateness is an issue for Salty, just saying… but Ok so you saw him in person? Did you melt? Was it the most fabulous experience of your life?

  19. According to wiki:
    “He is married to a teacher from his high school, Ashley Saltalamacchia, though he was never in her class. They have two children together.”

    AJC article:
    There’s no way around the proverbial elephant in the room, so here are the quick answers: She’s in her 30s, significantly older than the 20-year-old catcher; she never taught a class with him in it; she said their personal relationship didn’t begin until the fall of 2004, a year after he graduated.

    They were married eight months ago on an off day during Saltalamacchia’s breakout season at Class A Myrtle Beach, where the switch-hitting slugger hit .314 with 35 doubles, 19 homers and 81 RBIs in 129 games.

    “I told him, [the story] is going to get out eventually,” she said.

    His three home runs this spring and No. 1 prospect status have made “Salty” a household name among Braves fans who haven’t even seen him play yet. So try to imagine how big a star he is at Royal Palm Beach High, north of West Palm Beach.

    “Huge,” said Ashley Saltalamacchia, who gets questions from students and faculty about how her husband is doing in his first major league spring training camp.

    “They don’t even know me — it’s all about Jarrod,” she joked Sunday from the stands at Roger Dean Stadium, as the 6-foot-4, 230-pound catcher stood on the field, signing autographs for fans sticking balls and cards through the fence.

    “I kid him that I have no identity anymore, that ‘It’s all about you.’ ”

    Ashley, a former Stetson volleyball player, is thrilled and not surprised her husband is moving closer to his goals.

    “He doesn’t take anything for granted,” she said. “And he enjoys every minute. He doesn’t have a bad day. I was a college athlete and I’ve been a coach, and I walked off the court with my head down some days. He doesn’t. He knows tomorrow’s a new day.”

  20. Stetson? I like their hats. & yes, I know, the owner of the millinery operation put up the money for university.

    As to Mrs Saltalamacchia, personally, I just have to think that Jarrod better keep his eye on Berman, if JS ever makes it to the All-star Home-run Derby. Otherwise, CB will be… [trails off].

  21. Everything else being said, I’m just pissed that the trade occurred about three days after my dumb ass finally learned how to pronouce his name. Thank God I’ve been a Texeria fan for years….

  22. i wanted the redsox to get salty…sad loss kason, but i have to admit after seeing gagne with out the goggles he is definatley hot, but actually my favorite red sox hunk is dice k …and watch him pitch he does this little hip motion before he throws the ball quite sexy…

  23. discovered this site from awful announcing thanks its nice to talk about the hot men of baseball…i’ll add it to my favorites list

  24. Saltalamacchia is Great!!I meet him in person be signing autographs in sprint trainig Arizona he seems like great person too.
    I hope see his Name Big in Sports.

  25. hey Salty fans!! let get together and share his Name up lol!! I like to know where he is going again for autographs or convencion i like to see him again and all his new teammmm!! Texas Rangers…….
    Lizzy

  26. I’m a huge Braves fan, first off. And, I totally agree with the roster full of hotties comment….because we’re chock full of ‘em! Frenchy, McCann, Kelly Johnson…the list goes on. And, it is sad that we lost good ‘ole Salty….he’s quite the hunk, too. =]

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