Usually we like to highlight the hotties and good guys in sports on this here blog. But I’m not feeling it today. Life sucks at times. So instead I’m giving you the dumbass version of the H&R.
This guy? Dumbass #1. Michael Rasmussen was removed from the Tour de France by his own team for violating team rules. He missed some random drug testing, telling the sports director of his team that he was in Mexico when a former teammate saw him out and about in Italy. You fool. Rasmussen had won the Stage 16 Wednesday when he was dismissed.
Dumbass #2-Curt Schilling. He ran his mouth off again on Costas Now, talking about Bonds, Palmeiro, McGuire, steroids, etc., etc. Look Curt, I like the fact that you talk to the media and have your own blog, making you “closer” to the fans. But sometimes you need to shut yer yap. Haven’t we been down this road before?
Eric Staal and his brother Jordan Stall are dumbasses #3 and #4 following their arrest after a bachelor party. Guys, it’s great that to give yourself (in Eric’s case) a loud and wild bachelor party. In fact, I recommend it for all men. But let’s try not getting kicked out of the resort said party was in. Oh, and don’t harass motorist on the highway. There’s some advice you can live by. At least you two didn’t have any cocaine in your pockets.
Michael Vick, come on down. You’re dumbass #5. As we all know by now, his court date is today. But along with problems for the Falcons, he’s also giving Virginia Tech a headache. Like that school, team, and fan base don’t have enough problems that they can be dealing with Vick’s shit. I hope a dog bites off his nuts.
Minnesota Twins, this is hard for me. You have some major hotties on your team. But y’all are dumbasses #6-30 for giving up 13 runs to the Blue Jays, 11 of those being in the 6th inning. Look, I know I should blame a few pitchers, but all of you need some in this loss.
And to pick us up a bit, training camps that open today are: Buffalo Bills, New York Jets, Cincinnati Bengals, Minnesota Vikings, Atlanta Falcons, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, St. Louis Rams, and the Seattle Seahawks.
Ladies... 
Good morning. I’m going to comment on Michael Rasmussen and the Tour de France. I am a huge cycling fan and I watch whenever I can and follow the coverage on the internet. The specific reasons Rasmussen was pulled from the Tour and then fired were not because he doped. As the article states, he was unavailable for random tests.
Professional cycling is the most drug tested sport by far. The UCI requires to athletes to report their locations 24/7 in the form of a travel diary. An athlete can not report that he is going to be in one place and then not be there if inspectors show up. They can visit your home at any time, your workplace, while you’re on vacation, anywhere at anytime. In Rasmussen’s case, he claimed in his diary that he would be in Mexico with his wife’s family during the month of June, 2007.
In fact, he was not there. He repeatedly told his team Rabobank that he was in Mexico and the out of competition drug testers must have missed him. Rumors circulated that he had been spotted in Italy during June but he denied that until yesterday. After he won the stage yesterday, his team manager confronted him and demanded to know where he had been in the month of June 2007. He admitted then to being in Italy avoiding all drug tests.
At that point he was removed from the race by his team and then later fired at the insistence of the sponsor Rabobank. Although it may appear that cycling is riddled with drug cheats, no other professional sport in any country demands more drugs tests. It is hard to imagine the NFL, NBA or MLB players ever agreeing to random drug tests and being forced to reveal the whereabouts at all times. Can you see our beloved athletes in their cribs having a party and the drug inspectors showing up demanding blood and urine samples? Don’t think that is ever going to happen.
“But y’all are dumbasses #6-30”
LOL.
And the Vick thing is just, ugh. Awful. He should be the supreme commander of the dumbasses.
First of all, I’ve been reading your blog for about a month now and I think it’s awesome!…I’m going to be in the minority here, but I’m not mad at Schilling. You know that he’s saying what we’re all thinking. Maybe it’s dumb for him to say it right now b/c he’s betraying the clubhouse unspoken rules or whatever, but I ain’t mad at him.
HOOK ‘EM!
I think I may have to take a nap after reading Brian’s treatise.
SA, from the bottom of my heart, I love you right now.
Brian – I will read that essay once I’ve had at least one cup of coffee and a couple of lines to get through it. ;)
Too many words, Brian.
I now know so much more about cycling/doping than I ever thought I would
Would you all like more? :P
Right back at ya TSW. :)
Nina-I don’t hate Schilling either. Mostly because I don’t care enough about the Red Sox to hate. And I do like the fact that he is out in the open. But sometimes he needs to just shut up. He’s talked about Bonds before, retracted his statement, and then comes back out again. For a day, he needs to stop.
Brian-thanks for reading. He’s still a dumbass. If you’re not going to be in Mexico, how about tell your team that you’re not going to be in Mexico. Is it really that hard?
That depends. If Rasmussen was actually in Italy doing illegal training or doping, then that is why he pretended to be in Mexico.
I love your blog btw, I read but rarely comment.
Hey, I thought I was the resident Schilling apologist here! Nina and SA, I like Curt too. I can’t hate the guy because of ’93.
YES, I am a gigantic homer, what of it?
heh I love the “dumbasses of the week” post! hee
I’d like to nominate John Lannan.
He is a rookie pitcher for the Nats. He pitched up and in to Chase Utley today and ended up hitting him and breaking his hand. Asshole. No Chase for a month is cruel.
Oh and then he hits Ryan Howard in the next AB and got thrown out of the game. Dumbass for sure.
Brian-please comment more often. :)
I love me some Schilling, too – in all his blowhard glory.
And this H&R is a thing of beauty. Love it.
Geniuses do all of their blogging at 2am.
I like Schilling. He tends to talk too much, but I think he brings up a good point in that why aren’t these guys filing libel or slander suits against those who accuse them of steroids.
OK, I don’t feel so bad :) I agree that Schilling needs to have the pelotas to stick by his comment.
attending bachelor parties is kind of my hobb these days, i like parties and drinking too *