Hit and Run: Best of Times, Worst of Times

Let’s start with the bad. Get it out of the way.

* I take full responsibility. By openly laughing at the circus sideshow that is Alex Rodriguez, I basically guaranteed karma would come back at me- in the form of a recorded L for my #1 hottie Jonathan Papelbon (thanks to an A-Rod bomb). Outside fastball, Papyboo? Throw the splitter next time, baby. [And Boston begins a mini-freakout]

* Texan hottie Josh Beckett looked solid in yesterday’s start- and should have earned his 9th win. Unfortunately, close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, so Beckett got nothing off of his efforts. [More fascinating: a visual analysis of how Josh’s delivery has changed in one year]

* The dugout brawl between hottie Michael Barrett and Carlos Zambrano has been overanalyzed already, so I will simply say: (a) both of them are hotheads (Mikey B: AJ punch, fight with Oswalt; Zammy: spiking Todd Walker’s hat, calling out Matt Murton from the mound), (b) of course I side with Michael. [Scoreboard always wins any argument.]

And for the good- leave things on a high note:

* David Wright is smart. Opting to take a 0.5% interest in Vitamin Water in exchange for his endorsement – rather than a flat fee- David’s interest is now estimated to be $20 million dollars after the company was sold for $4.1 billion. [It must be tough being a single, rich, smoking hot ballplayer in New York City.]

* Hawaiian cutie Shane Victorino gave all the Philly fans at CBP two gifts yesterday: the snazzy Shane-in-a-hula-skirt bobblehead, and a walk-off home run to beat the Giants. [He makana nâu, Phanatics.]

This entry was posted in Hit and Run, mama said knock you out, MLB, Texas Gal by Texas Gal. Bookmark the permalink.

About Texas Gal

Pitched four years for the Philadelphia Athletics, and then played shortstop for seven years for the Montreal Expos. Taught Rickey Henderson to steal a base. Taught Nolan Ryan to throw a punch. Taught Mickey Mantle to drink a beer. Threw one seven-hitter and seven no-hitters. Wonderboy was my creation, and first Jobu shrine was in my locker. Often called "the next Dustin Pedroia". Always wear high socks and eyeblack. Prefer to slide headfirst.

26 thoughts on “Hit and Run: Best of Times, Worst of Times

  1. Vitamin Water was sold for HOW MUCH?! $4.1 billion?! With a “b”? Somebody paid $4.1 billion for a company that makes a sports drink that tastes like pond water filtered through a chalkboard eraser.

    I’m having a P.T. Barnum moment.

  2. D-Wright -call me, baby!
    The things I’d do to that boy…

    ETA: And if DW needs help managing behing a single, hot, rich guy in the city, he should give Derek Jeter a call. I’m sure he has some tips on how to juggle the starlets and groupies.

  3. wondering what 50s percentage was because if it sold for 4.5 bill he is going to be rich.

    holly as a women you are also not andypetites type.

  4. Yeah- unfortunately none of the articles I read about the sale gave specific numbers- so I’m forced to cite their fuzzy math. Everyone pretty much agrees that he’s gonna get around $20MM from the sale, though.

  5. Holly, if you’ll just take some time to really work out, hit the bench press, the bicep curl machine, the lateral presses, you’ll be in there with A-Rod. Oh, you have to lose the classy boobs also.

  6. If Vitamin Water was sold for anywhere near that amount for such a crap-tastic “drink,” I wonder what the horrific invention known as “Mint Flavored Water” is worth to someone as dumb and with pocketbooks as deep as say, Dr. Pepper? It tastes very similar to if you simply swallowed mouthwash, so it could be even more pleasing than V-Water.

    Shane should be proud of the Hula Bobblehead. At least it’s one that’ll be remembered…

  7. Texie, sorry about your loss. If it will make you feel better, I will find an anteater and pull its ridiculous nose and send you a picture.

  8. I’m not even bullshitting, dawg. Grape Faygo is going to kill… your thirst. It’ll be dead, dawg. Your thirst, & your pancreas.

  9. Barrett vs Big Z was great!! I love Mikey but he was so no match for the huge killer Zambrano. I guess Mikey got his sweet face all fucked up. I understand that Zambrano does not like the “pretty boys” He is goung after Joe Mauer next. I also heard that ND fighting hottie Tommy Zbikowski was at the game on Friday to sing and throw out the first pitch. Now why could’nt they have Tommy ref the fight our take on the winner? With Zambrano winning the preliminary by squashing Barrett we could of had a Big Z vs Tommy Z fight. My guess is the thugish Zambrano who is 6’6 260lbs would kill Zibby who is 5’9 210. That would of been a hot fight, but Zibby would be just another victim to the monster Zambrano.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s