Let’s start with the bad. Get it out of the way.
* I take full responsibility. By openly laughing at the circus sideshow that is Alex Rodriguez, I basically guaranteed karma would come back at me- in the form of a recorded L for my #1 hottie Jonathan Papelbon (thanks to an A-Rod bomb). Outside fastball, Papyboo? Throw the splitter next time, baby. [And Boston begins a mini-freakout]
* Texan hottie Josh Beckett looked solid in yesterday’s start- and should have earned his 9th win. Unfortunately, close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, so Beckett got nothing off of his efforts. [More fascinating: a visual analysis of how Josh's delivery has changed in one year]
* The dugout brawl between hottie Michael Barrett and Carlos Zambrano has been overanalyzed already, so I will simply say: (a) both of them are hotheads (Mikey B: AJ punch, fight with Oswalt; Zammy: spiking Todd Walker’s hat, calling out Matt Murton from the mound), (b) of course I side with Michael. [Scoreboard always wins any argument.]
And for the good- leave things on a high note:
* David Wright is smart. Opting to take a 0.5% interest in Vitamin Water in exchange for his endorsement – rather than a flat fee- David’s interest is now estimated to be $20 million dollars after the company was sold for $4.1 billion. [It must be tough being a single, rich, smoking hot ballplayer in New York City.]
* Hawaiian cutie Shane Victorino gave all the Philly fans at CBP two gifts yesterday: the snazzy Shane-in-a-hula-skirt bobblehead, and a walk-off home run to beat the Giants. [He makana nâu, Phanatics.]
I hate that Wright is so hot. Quit making it hard to hate the Mets already!
He really is unkind that way. Unkind and smoking, smoking hot.
Vitamin Water was sold for HOW MUCH?! $4.1 billion?! With a “b”? Somebody paid $4.1 billion for a company that makes a sports drink that tastes like pond water filtered through a chalkboard eraser.
I’m having a P.T. Barnum moment.
With a B.
And that somebody who paid 4.1 Extra-Extra-Large for the privilege was Coca-Cola. Of course.
Gotta love the Flyin’ Hawaiian…I need one of those bobblehead dolls…
D-Wright -call me, baby!
The things I’d do to that boy…
ETA: And if DW needs help managing behing a single, hot, rich guy in the city, he should give Derek Jeter a call. I’m sure he has some tips on how to juggle the starlets and groupies.
*SEETHE* Fucking A-Rod.
(That was not a status report. I’m not his type, being a woman who actually looks like a woman and all.)
wondering what 50s percentage was because if it sold for 4.5 bill he is going to be rich.
holly as a women you are also not andypetites type.
Yeah- unfortunately none of the articles I read about the sale gave specific numbers- so I’m forced to cite their fuzzy math. Everyone pretty much agrees that he’s gonna get around $20MM from the sale, though.
Barrett’s lucky he didn’t pick on a black guy. They don’t do as they’re told and won’t back down so eay.
Poor Carlos Zambrano didn’t get his name in bold which means he’s icky. Ha!
That was me showing clear favoritism- hee!
Holly, if you’ll just take some time to really work out, hit the bench press, the bicep curl machine, the lateral presses, you’ll be in there with A-Rod. Oh, you have to lose the classy boobs also.
Fuckinsuckinfrassinfuckinfucker…
I actually think that is A-Rod’s middle name. Alex Fuckinsuckinfrassinfuckinfucker Rodriguez.
“a woman who actually looks like a woman and all.”
what a coincidence, that’s my type.
If Vitamin Water was sold for anywhere near that amount for such a crap-tastic “drink,” I wonder what the horrific invention known as “Mint Flavored Water” is worth to someone as dumb and with pocketbooks as deep as say, Dr. Pepper? It tastes very similar to if you simply swallowed mouthwash, so it could be even more pleasing than V-Water.
Shane should be proud of the Hula Bobblehead. At least it’s one that’ll be remembered…
TSB – There is already minty water.
In related news, Elijah Dukes and Gary Sheffield are the new spokesmen for grape drink.
In related news, Elijah Dukes and Gary Sheffield are the new spokesmen for grape drink.
Who knows what they’ll say !?
Texie, sorry about your loss. If it will make you feel better, I will find an anteater and pull its ridiculous nose and send you a picture.
Dude. How come *I* never get offers like that?
Well, you do have classy boobs. What would you like?
I’m not even bullshitting, dawg. Grape Faygo is going to kill… your thirst. It’ll be dead, dawg. Your thirst, & your pancreas.
Barrett vs Big Z was great!! I love Mikey but he was so no match for the huge killer Zambrano. I guess Mikey got his sweet face all fucked up. I understand that Zambrano does not like the “pretty boys” He is goung after Joe Mauer next. I also heard that ND fighting hottie Tommy Zbikowski was at the game on Friday to sing and throw out the first pitch. Now why could’nt they have Tommy ref the fight our take on the winner? With Zambrano winning the preliminary by squashing Barrett we could of had a Big Z vs Tommy Z fight. My guess is the thugish Zambrano who is 6’6 260lbs would kill Zibby who is 5’9 210. That would of been a hot fight, but Zibby would be just another victim to the monster Zambrano.