Stuff your ballot box early and often

Since the first returns are in on the 2007 MLB All-Star Game voting, we thought we’d take a look at how well some of our hotties are doing in the balloting, and who could use a bit of the Ladies’ help.

d-wright
Furrow that B&T brow, D-Wright.

Metschick’s boys are leading the races at shortstop, third base, catcher and in the outfield in the NL voting. Jose Reyes has a commanding lead at shortstop over J.J. Hardy. At third, pretty boy David Wright has more than 100,000 more votes than his closest competition, Larry Wayne Jones Jr. (I refuse to call him Chipper. Chipper was cute when you were 12, but now you’re a grown up, LARRY.) Scotty Ro-Ro needs to pick up the pace if he wants to make it to San Fransisco this July — he’s languishing in fourth.

chutley
For those of you who find the Ladies… by searching “forearms,”
I give you your new hotness. *whimper*

Behind the plate, Paul LoDuca holds first place over Brian McCann. (Metschick and I might be on opposite sides of the NL East divide, but we can both agree that it’s a pleasure to see the Braves lose.) Take heart, though, Phils phans: even though last year’s Home Run Derby champ Ryan Howard isn’t even in the top five at first base (sad panda), Jimmy Rollins is in third place in the shortstop votes, and Chase Utley holds a slim lead over Craig Biggio to lead the second base voting.

Carlos Beltran leads the voting in the outfield with his teammates Moises Alou and Shaun Green at seventh and twelfth, respectively. Yes, you read that right: Barry Bonds is NOT leading the All-Star balloting in the outfield. I wonder why? His bat’s ice cold, he’s being a total douche about beating Hank Aaron’s home run record, and he won’t give any of his memorabilia to Cooperstown. Just a guess. Other outfield hotties receiving votes include Bill Hall at eighth place, Jeff Francoeur in tenth, and Bacon Pants Rowand in fourteenth. FOURTEENTH. What is wrong with you people?! Don’t you appreciate grindiness, cheekbones that could cut glass, or pants made out of delicious crispy bacon?

Over in the AL, a few guys are getting all the votes. Big Papi David Ortiz is pasting gimpy Jason Giambi in the first base voting by a margin of almost two to one. Derek Jeter leads the shortstop voting with more than 650,000 votes. And poor third baseman Joe Crede in fifth place; A-Rod is beating him at a rate of more than ten votes to one!

Crede
P4WN3D. (Nice tight pants, though.)

Despite being on the DL since the balloting began in early May, Joe Mauer is still holding down second place in the AL catchers’ voting, with Texas Gal’s Red Sox heckle-ee Jason Varitek following closely behind. Vlad Guerrero, Manny Ramirez and Ichiro Suzuki are one, two, and three in the outfield. Torii Hunter, Johnny Damon and this week’s Hump Day Hottie are also in the top ten.

Fill out your All-Star Game ballot and take advantage of the fact that you’re allowed to vote up to 25 times. Your favorite hottie won’t make it to AT&T park this July without you.

49 thoughts on “Stuff your ballot box early and often

  1. No love for Hanley Ramirez, on the All-star voters’s part? Really? Reigning Rookie of the Year, more pop than Reyes (but less speed), has to be really good on defense to bail out Uggla… HR demands respect.

    Harold Reynolds, meanwhile, just asks that you ladies/Ladies… get your tee-shirts off.

  2. It is a crime against humanity and true grit and hot butts and good old-fashioned throwback baseball that Aaron Rowand is 14th. He is the epitome of a grinder. Also, he is very hot.

    Also, sorry Metsy, but J.J. Hardy must get the nod at shortstop.

  3. Disco Stu: Reyes has a legion of fans voting for him. The Marlins’ 23 fans already reached their voting limit.
    TG: I can console JJ, if he doesn’t go to the ASG.

  4. And the Pirates will be stuck sending Tom Gorzelanny.

    You know when you were a kid in school and you threw birthday parties for everyone? And I mean everyone, because your mother made you invite the whole class? Even the kid that always had snot on their shirt, who actually got a strike in kickball, and could never get their Trapper Keeper closed it was so full of paper?

    The Pirates are that kid.

    (And I may or may not have once had a strike during kickball in the 5th grade that haunts me to this very day. Fuck you Mark Hooley where ever you are!)

  5. Just to clarify: I am a Reyes backer, but I’m surprised to see Hardy’s explosive first two months influencing the decision-making so much. Hanley, while only marginally more established, is still a safer pick than Hardy.

  6. Me! I want them, Janalee!

    In the NL:
    1B: Ry Ho
    2B: Chutley
    3B: write in Greg Dobbs
    CF: Bacon Pants

    I don’t care who you vote for in the AL, as long as they aren’t Yankees.

  7. I should know better than to try and out-smart Metsy on Marlins numbers. You have connections!

    And, memememe, Janalee!

    C: Michael Barrett
    2B: Chutley
    SS: J.J. Hardy
    3B: David Wright
    OF: Aaron Rowand, Jeff Francoeur

    AL?
    C: Jason Varitek
    1B: Paul Konerko
    OF: Coco Crisp

  8. Pam – It is worse than misspelling “LION”.
    I faked like I had kicked it because it hit the catcher behind me, (No they didn’t catch it but some how they came out looking ok), and bounced forward so I ran to first. Mark Hooley, who was playing first, yelled at the gym teacher that I had actually missed the ball and since I had run to base said he could tag me out. Which he did.
    It was awful.

    But not as awful as the Pirates.

  9. That’s very traumatic TSW, I applaud you for coming forth and talking about it. It was I, who mispelled “lion.” I discussed this on deadspin yesterday. I once called someone out for not stepping on first in wiffleball in 7th grade gym. The gym teacherthe agreed. Seeing how these things affect people, I feel I should apologize to Kenny Freeman….what were we talking about?

    Oh yea, all stars, Im voting for Grady Sizemore and Huston Street. And Rory Fitzpatrick. 25 times.

  10. Also, Albert Pujols is leading NL 1st basemen. I think he’s cute. Scotty Ro hasn’t been up to snuff this year, I fear he will miss out. Lil’ Eckstein’s not terribly far back in the SS category either, though I’m not sure why. He’s not having a very good year either.

  11. As far as I am concerned, you can just take my e-mail address and vote for whomever you like. Hot asses, best eyeblack, good forearms, high pants, crazy eyebrows. Go crazy!

  12. We salute your efforts, Janalee.

    And please know that every time I’ve gone to the ballpark, I’ve voted based on different kinds of hottness. At Fenway, all-around hotties. At the Cell, hottest asses. In Miami, cutest smiles.

  13. For a moment I thought this was the Hot Blogger Bracket finally revealed. When is that going to happen?

    BTW, I’m going to be at the Chapel Hill regional of the NCAA Baseball tournament this weekend. Anyone else seeing regionals?

  14. No- I’m going to a Nats game, though. Which is more like little league, really.

    HOT BLOGGER BRACKET SHALL BE REVEALED IN GOOD TIME. Holly and TSW and JMoney held a Hollywood summit two nights in a row for this specific purpose.

  15. D’oh! is me. How did I forget about Ankiel? 12 HR, 40 RBI and .278, shouldn’t he at least be in STL by the end of June?

  16. Speaking of the Hollywood Summit meetings, didn’t the masses demand photographic evidence of these high-level talks?

  17. I have it on good evidence, as an inside Source to these “talks” that many, many mutual agreements were made with little fanfare.

    I believe Holly agreed to remove a certain number of short-range nuclear warheads from Uzbekistan in exchange for gordonshumway relenting to hand over the bottle of tequila she had been hording to herself for the first half-hour.

    Also, happily TSW was able to mediate a settlement wherein, the Ladies… will give equal coverage to “forearms” and “buttocks,” as long as KSK limits photos women in tight shirts to less than two-and-a-half inches of visible cleavage.

    Treaties to be signed later over a bottle of Strawberry flavored Arbor Mist.

  18. TSB, that calls to mind the high-level talks during “Spies Like Us” featuring Trivial Pursuit and Risk. Somehow, I like your version better.

    TSW – I demand nothing but eye black and forearms!

  19. @: The Anomaly

    With 7 wins as the NL leader, I gladly nominate a late bloomer in Brad Thompson for successful Cardinal at 4-1. And if baseball scored like golf, Anthony Reyes would be the balls.

  20. Man, this is the first use of the “single entendre” tag? I can only imagine that one’s going to get some use.

    “That’s great. You’ve really mastered the single entendre.”

  21. Burnsy- I agree with Thompson at 4-1. I just hope he can get that ERA down just a smidge. Hopefully, Memphis won’t ask Ankiel to take Reyes under his wing.

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