Stuff your ballot box early and often

Since the first returns are in on the 2007 MLB All-Star Game voting, we thought we’d take a look at how well some of our hotties are doing in the balloting, and who could use a bit of the Ladies’ help.

Furrow that B&T brow, D-Wright.

Metschick’s boys are leading the races at shortstop, third base, catcher and in the outfield in the NL voting. Jose Reyes has a commanding lead at shortstop over J.J. Hardy. At third, pretty boy David Wright has more than 100,000 more votes than his closest competition, Larry Wayne Jones Jr. (I refuse to call him Chipper. Chipper was cute when you were 12, but now you’re a grown up, LARRY.) Scotty Ro-Ro needs to pick up the pace if he wants to make it to San Fransisco this July — he’s languishing in fourth.

For those of you who find the Ladies… by searching “forearms,”
I give you your new hotness. *whimper*

Behind the plate, Paul LoDuca holds first place over Brian McCann. (Metschick and I might be on opposite sides of the NL East divide, but we can both agree that it’s a pleasure to see the Braves lose.) Take heart, though, Phils phans: even though last year’s Home Run Derby champ Ryan Howard isn’t even in the top five at first base (sad panda), Jimmy Rollins is in third place in the shortstop votes, and Chase Utley holds a slim lead over Craig Biggio to lead the second base voting.

Carlos Beltran leads the voting in the outfield with his teammates Moises Alou and Shaun Green at seventh and twelfth, respectively. Yes, you read that right: Barry Bonds is NOT leading the All-Star balloting in the outfield. I wonder why? His bat’s ice cold, he’s being a total douche about beating Hank Aaron’s home run record, and he won’t give any of his memorabilia to Cooperstown. Just a guess. Other outfield hotties receiving votes include Bill Hall at eighth place, Jeff Francoeur in tenth, and Bacon Pants Rowand in fourteenth. FOURTEENTH. What is wrong with you people?! Don’t you appreciate grindiness, cheekbones that could cut glass, or pants made out of delicious crispy bacon?

Over in the AL, a few guys are getting all the votes. Big Papi David Ortiz is pasting gimpy Jason Giambi in the first base voting by a margin of almost two to one. Derek Jeter leads the shortstop voting with more than 650,000 votes. And poor third baseman Joe Crede in fifth place; A-Rod is beating him at a rate of more than ten votes to one!

P4WN3D. (Nice tight pants, though.)

Despite being on the DL since the balloting began in early May, Joe Mauer is still holding down second place in the AL catchers’ voting, with Texas Gal’s Red Sox heckle-ee Jason Varitek following closely behind. Vlad Guerrero, Manny Ramirez and Ichiro Suzuki are one, two, and three in the outfield. Torii Hunter, Johnny Damon and this week’s Hump Day Hottie are also in the top ten.

Fill out your All-Star Game ballot and take advantage of the fact that you’re allowed to vote up to 25 times. Your favorite hottie won’t make it to AT&T park this July without you.