* You may not have heard, but my man Roger Clemens made his minor league start for the Tampa Yankees on Friday in Florida. Ever the humble man, he arrived to the park in his Hummer- but he did make time to talk to a local little leaguer who accompanied him on the mound during pregame. [See, he is a human after all.] Also, special homer note: they played “The Eyes of Texas”, the University of Texas alma mater, during the Rocket’s warmup pitches before the first batter. Hook ‘Em!
* The real star of the game wasn’t the Rocket, though- it was the kid from the Single-A Fort Myers Miracle (Twins affiliate) who popped a homer off Roger in the first inning. Minor league hottie Erik Lis had a take-no-prisoners attitude about facing Clemens, and an awfully cute butt. [Never to early to start scouting the farm system]
* The Twins roster is now sporting the hottest fashion accessory to hit the baseball diamond: the buzzcut. [It certainly appears to have worked some magic for the Mets.] Hottie Joe Mauer got the buzz- no visual confirmation on whether the sideburns survived.
* Hello and goodbye to hottie Kason Gabbard, who was called up from the minors to pitch for the Red Sox on Sunday. Kason (coolest name ever!) walked away with the W over the Braves… and within minutes of hitting the locker room, was demoted back down to Triple-A Pawtucket. [That’ll teach him to pitch well!] Bonus points for Kason? [He and hottie Jarrod Saltalamacchia are old high school buds].
* Let my mourning period commence for Todd Walker, the gorgeous Louisiana hottie who graced the rosters of the Twins, Rockies, Reds, Red Sox, Cubs, Padres & A’s over the past 11 years. The A’s released him late last week [boo!], and Todd now says he’ll retire from baseball [double boo!] (thanks to reader Patrick for the tip on the second article!)
as always, click on the pics for bigger versions
Ladies... 
This Roger Clemens guy seems like he could be a real find! (Certainly getting a lot of coverage for a rookie in the farm system.)
I have to admit, it’s kind of sad when a former star like Todd Walker retires and no one notices. I wouldn’t have unless I read this site, of all things. Good note.
I wouldn’t go so far as to call Todd Walker a star, unless you want to call Jose Valentin a star, too, but it is a bit… uhm… aging to find out that somebody who only entered the Bigs when you were in middle-school is already retired.
Kason Gabbard didn’t make the cut because they thought he was one of Clemens’ kids.
Touche, Arman… & I should ask, is your name an homage to Mr Keteyian?
(Pauses & maintains a reverent silence, head bowed.)
Anyway, Ladies… Since this blog is a Deadspinoff, will there be any coordination with the babes at Jezebel?
They can find us if they want us, but I doubt it since they are not covering sports. Yet.
Todd Walker was the greatest Man’s Man to ever play for the Cubs. He is sorely missed.
I agree, Ivy- Todd just seemed to “fit” on the Cubs. And then stupid Dusty Baker, and his fascination with Neifi Perez, sent Todd to the Padres.
Joe Mauer – check out those eyes!
Wow I read that “Let my mourning period commence” the wrong way the first time. I thought it was a little odd. Then I realized the spelling on “mourning.”
Disco Stu: let’s just say that mom calls me Seymour.
oops! Disco Stu is right, my bad. I was thinking of Larry Walker, who was a star. Todd Walker’s stats were more average. Wow, I guess I really have stopped watching baseball.
Todd Walker was far under rated as a utility man….far as I’m concerned…I could select 3 starters from every team in baseball that Todd is better than….I thought he was great !! I watched him at LSU….& in the pro’s…..he new baseball !!!…I enjoyed watching him play and think baseball !!