I grew up in one of those houses where complaints of a headache were met with “Here, sugar, have half a Xanax.” As you might imagine, we watched a lot of tennis. My mother’s touring Europe this summer, and is making me teach her German phrases to employ in case she encounters Boris Becker poolside somewhere on The Continent. Now, I love my mother, but we have what you’d charitably call a Complicated Relationship, so understand that when she turns out to have asked her idol to remove the axe from her head when she thought she was asking to buy him a drink, I misled her out of love. And spite. But mostly love.
Happy Mothers’ Day, Momma.
May 12, 2007 at 11:12 pm |
I always thought this said a lot about your mom –
http://www.snarkastic.com/archives/001070.html
May 13, 2007 at 2:04 am |
I gave serious thought to just reposting this in its entirety.
May 13, 2007 at 2:33 am |
Dammit. That was the post I was looking for.
You better tell your mom or I will read all 4 years of Snarkastic to find her email somewhere in the comments just to get you back for telling my mom to look for the Beckham post.
May 13, 2007 at 3:02 am |
Is Boris Becker a bowler?
May 13, 2007 at 10:54 am |
I’ll tell her, but I don’t know it’ll do a whole lot of good. The conversation where I tried to explain web-based email to her could be a novella in itself.
(Confidential to TheStarterMom: Your daughter is pure as the driven snow. I, sadly, am not, since I’m the one who had to read all that fanfic.)
May 13, 2007 at 11:21 am |
I’m still giggling about your mom calling it The Continent. Also, Becker was a cutie back in the day.
May 13, 2007 at 11:50 am |
I’m totally going to be that mom (when Baby Mets is older and can partake more often of pharmaceutical remedies): “here’s a pill, there ya go!”
She sounds awesome, Hols.
May 13, 2007 at 12:24 pm |
She is…a force of nature.
May 13, 2007 at 12:58 pm |
For the record I had a crush on Boris Becker when I first started liking boys.
May 13, 2007 at 3:55 pm |
Re: Your Easter Basket
My mother gave me “Brokeback Mountain” on DVD for Easter last year. I’m pretty sure Jesus went back into the cave after that.
May 13, 2007 at 4:18 pm |
My mother gave me “Brokeback Mountain” on DVD for Easter last year.
Checkmate.
May 13, 2007 at 4:50 pm |
Wow, your mom offers you Xanax? Mine gives me the hairy eyeball when I decide to have a second glass of wine with dinner.
May 13, 2007 at 4:53 pm |
Clare – As does mine. Which is why I don’t let her see the first glass.
May 13, 2007 at 5:04 pm |
Clare, she’s done this my entire life and as recently as last summer–I’d pulled a neck muscle during a death scene, and we were at brunch the next morning and she pulled her little tin of pills out of her purse and cut one in half for me with her butter knife. It’s how we show love.
May 13, 2007 at 5:13 pm |
Hilarious, Holly!
ps. My mother’s pill box is a giant tin pill. Which isn’t important, but it makes me laugh.
May 13, 2007 at 5:18 pm |
“Here, sugar, have half a Xanax.”
I’ma stitch that on a pillow, and send it to The Continent, for your Momma.
May 13, 2007 at 5:18 pm |
Sabotage!
Awesome.
May 13, 2007 at 5:21 pm |
Jeebsy, with the Momma trifecta! Nice, darlin’.