|TOUCHDOWN: Alex Rodriguez
It has come to our attention, after Torii Hunter got pegged by a fastball to the face not long after he was featured here, that there may be a Ladies… curse. If this is the case, my heartiest congrats and well wishes go out to A-Rod, for his continued dominance in the “Mr. April” title race. Many happy (jinxed) returns, buddy.
|PERSONAL FOUL: Gary Thorne
First he claims Schilling’s bloody sock was a fake. And now, that he’s gotten called on it, he’s backpedaling faster than you can say, “Schilling will eat you for breakfast” — and now claims that it was all a big misunderstanding. Sure it was. Why wouldn’t we believe exactly what you say, Gare-Bear?
[Over The Monster]
|OFFSIDES: Nick Saban
Convert to the ways of the Saban. Resistance is futile. 92,000 Bammers have already paved the way, if spring game attendance is any indication. There are just a few simple rules you need to learn. 10 to be exact- you might even call them commandments.
|CLIPPING: Craig Biggio Haters
Leave my first baseball boyfriend alone. Quit wearing that pin on your hat for cancer kids, Craig! You’re getting old, Craig! I’m gonna plunk you with this pitch, Craig! Your poor production at the plate and horrible OBP remind me of Chase Utley, Craig! Give the guy a break- or he’ll bring the AARP down on you.
|TIMEOUT: Sidney Crosby
Public service announcement: TSW and all other Sidney Crosby fans across the land would like me to solicit everyone (no, not in that way) to stop by and throw a few votes his way in the Time 100 voting. He’ll reward everyone by continuing to be ridiculously HOT.