Homer Hottie: Ryan Howard

This is why I'm hot

Sportswriters spilled gallons of ink during the off season about today’s Homer Hottie, Philadelphia Phillies first baseman Ryan Howard.

By now you know all the highlights: In little league, hit a homer over a Red Lobster in the outfield, won last year’s All-Star Game Home Run Derby, led the entire major league with 58 homers last season, only the second player after Cal Ripken Jr. (no slouch himself in the hotness department, in a silver fox kind of way) to win Rookie of the Year and Most Valuable player in consecutive seasons. So let’s just get right to the hotness, yeah?

Ry Ho at the plate


The big man at the plate, putting fear into hearts of pitchers everywhere.

Ry Ho and his little boy

Ry Ho’s little boy is a clone of his pop, is he not?

Ryan the Temp

Wait…wrong Ryan Howard.

So very helpful

He gives his teammates a helping hand when they overextend themselves.  So helpful!

Ry Ho takes out Abe Nunez

The phrase “bull in a china shop” sometimes comes to mind, though.

Ry Ho

Look at that punim!

8 thoughts on “Homer Hottie: Ryan Howard

  1. He would be a lot cuter if he was playing better!! Although, i’ll give him a little free pass since that homer last night was quite nice.

    But all that aside, the Phillies have the best ass in all of baseball as a whole…and it makes me proud to be a Philadelphian.

  2. This thread deserves musical accompaniment from Philadelphia’s own Boyz II Men. Preferably, “I’ll make love to you”.

  3. Ryan is super cute- but his little boy is even cuter than he is. Don’t know how that’s possible… but he is.

    Also- is that photo of busted-up Aaron from last year’s night game at Wrigley, from the Chutley collision? I was at that game, and that happened right in front of us. It was very scary. (also, notice Pat’s slow-ass was nowhere near getting close to colliding with those two… it took him twice as long to run to center)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s