NBA Hotties- Southeast Spice

This hottie selection was hard to put together. Not because the Southeast Division (of the Eastern Conference, for those of you keeping score at home) is lacking in hotties- because that is most certainly not the case. Two of the hottest men in the NBA play in this division, and would make any all-NBA hottie list. The problem is that I had to drag myself away kicking and screaming from my current obsession with baseball to make it happen- and that’s no easy task. So when I tell you that I was more than rewarded for my efforts with a treasure trove of hotties in the SE, you gotta know these guys are HOTT. With two T’s, y’all.


Sweet lord, could there be a finer sandwich to get in the middle of?

Check out the full hottie lineup after the jump.

And just because I can, let’s move through the conference in reverse order of the standings. This will be the first time the Hawks will be at the top of the Division all year.

Lorenzen Wright
Atlanta Hawks

You see that sweet face, and those pretty eyes- and you note that he runs a basketball camp for underprivileged kids and does charity work for his church and headlines a reading initiative, and you go… Awwww! But lovely Lorenzen doesn’t mess around- and he wears a size 16 1/2 shoe. Does it make me a bad person if his ability to throw a punch makes him hotter to me than the fact that he went back to college (Memphis) to get his degree after he’d already made it in the NBA?

Emeka Okafor
Charlotte Bobcats

Firstly, Chukwuemeka Ndubuisi Okafor (a/k/a Emeka) is a Texan- and a fellow Houstonian, born and raised. That alone would get him a spot on the roster- but fortunately, he’s really gorgeous, so he deserves it. I mean, those lovely big brown eyes! Those lovely arms! So hot. And he’s a whiz on the court, that’s a given. But he’s also extremely smart- he majored in finance at UConn, and graduated with honors (in just 3 years!). His first name translates to “God has done well” in his parents native Nigerian tongue. With Emeka? Yes, yes he has.

Grant Hill
Orlando Magic

Awwww, yeah. Kickin’ it old school with Grant Hill. Remember back in the day when he and Penny used to tear it up? I don’t care what anyone says, Grant is still a fox. Yes, I might be biased that he’s another Texan (especially since his dad played for my beloved Dallas Cowboys), but the guy is just cool. And even though he’s a Dukie (retch), he is part of one of the greatest college finishes of all time- when his team was down 1 against Kentucky, with 2 seconds to go, and he chunked the ball inbounds down to Christian Laettner on the other side of the court for a buzzer-beating layup to win the game.

And now we come to the men of the hour, the peanut butter and jelly of the hottie sandwich. And both these guys have had a rough 2007- with one out on the DL for awhile (but back now, thankfully) and the other definitely out of the post-season. Doesn’t matter, they both make the All-Hot Team.

Gilbert Arenas
Washington Wizards

Agent Zero and all his Gilbertology may be loopy, but good god a’mighty is he hot. He blogs (and is wicked funny). He plays video games. He dunks balls using a trampoline. He uses halftime to the fullest, either playing online poker or taking a shower still dressed in full uniform. His birthday parties are the stuff of legends (complete with ice sculptures of himself, natch). He throws his shoes and jersey into the crowd after every game. He likes infomercials. He tried to vote himself into the All-Star game once. He donated $100 for every point he scored this season to D.C. schools. Hell yeah, he’s hot. Hot like a Hibachi.

Dwyane Wade
Miami Heat

It is a waste of time, energy and space to put up words about Dwyane. Instead, let’s just get down to brass tacks, and look at picture after picture of his hotness. Click on any of the images below to see them in all their full-size glory.

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About Texas Gal

Pitched four years for the Philadelphia Athletics, and then played shortstop for seven years for the Montreal Expos. Taught Rickey Henderson to steal a base. Taught Nolan Ryan to throw a punch. Taught Mickey Mantle to drink a beer. Threw one seven-hitter and seven no-hitters. Wonderboy was my creation, and first Jobu shrine was in my locker. Often called "the next Dustin Pedroia". Always wear high socks and eyeblack. Prefer to slide headfirst.

15 thoughts on “NBA Hotties- Southeast Spice

  1. I will agree DWade is worthy as he is only a few feet away from our seats in the AAA. He is also as cool as ***fill in your favorite like …the other side of the pillow analology*** no doubt.

    Man crush is OK when it is DWade?

    I add that the two menapausal women that sit next to me gush over him, ZO’s muscles, and Shaqs (should I say size?) as though they were just released from prison. I am forced to outwardly oggle at the Heat Dancers and the 15,000 cosmetically altered “ladies” with airbrush clothing in plain view just to keep things level.

  2. Man crush is more than OK when it comes to D-Wade. Neither women nor men are immune when it comes to his siren song.

    And I prefer “cool as ice”. Word to your mother.

  3. Thanks Texas Gal. Mom, however is not pleased with any rap references these days. She would like a set of those fancy slippers you all were pawning at KSK. They work wonders here in the humidity of Miami and are totally acceptable at Macy’s

  4. y’all need to check the pic of D-Wade on the Heat’s official page.
    damn, he fine.
    I would also love to throw some love to Jason Kapono. yeah baby, I HAVE noticed your hair always looks perfect. and I DO always love a handsome token white guy. how did you know??

    as an aside, if you don’t hate Duke and can ignore the whole “water sports” thing, it’s hard not to notice that JJ has turned into quite the piece of ass since he’s been in Orlando.

  5. I still love Grant Hill, big ears and all.

    I adore Grant Hill. He was my first big sports crush. I dated a guy in high school just because he looked like Grant Hill.

  6. Ok, I never saw the hot in JJ Redick despite being a Duke fan. I’m going to have to check him out now.

    Jason Kapono you say…

  7. Y’all need to step off my man JJ.

    His program picture his senior year? I’d paste it to my ceiling if I didn’t have one of those pesky husband-type thingys. (He’s such a party pooper.)

  8. Why hasn’t the NBA just taken that pic of D-Wade and Arenas, made an advertisement, and plopped it in every Cosmo in the land? Mmmm. And thank you for including Emeka… sooooooo fine. I met him once and could barely form words.

    Am I the only one who thinks Gilbert Arenas looks like Jesse L. Martin, the detective from Law and Order/original Tom Collins from Rent?

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