I’m putting out a call to all the Ladies…, all the Red Sox fans, all the afficianados of hotness around the world: for the love of all that is hot, who is this guy?
I know he’s a rookie. I know he plays for the Red Sox. I know he has a coach standing on his back. I know he’s really, really smokin’ hot. But for the life of me, I cannot figure out who he is. But I have faith that someone, somewhere will do what I cannot- and give this Unknown Hottie a name.
UPDATE: Thanks to the marvelous Elric, I can now confirm the Unknown Hottie is… Jacoby Ellsbury, the Sox #1 draft pick from 2005, captain of the 2006 National Champion Oregon State Beavers and certified hottie. He’s a 23 year-old outfielder, often referred to as the next Johnny Damon (he even dressed up as Damon for Halloween one year), who spent a short time in high-A Wilmington last year before being quickly called up to the AA-Portland Sea Dogs (and had an NRI to camp this year). He’s expected to challenge Coco Crisp for a starting spot as soon as ‘08, and Baseball America rates him the best hitter for average, fastest base runner, best athlete, and best defensive outfielder in the Sox system. Also, if all that wasn’t hot enough, he’s a Navajo Indian who spent part of his childhood with his 3 brothers on a reservation… and his teammates sometimes call him ‘Chief’.
UPDATED AGAIN: Thanks to the marvelous GordonShumway, I give you (by special request of the Ladies…):
Jacoby, you are officially a Ladies… mascot. Congratulations!
March 21, 2007 at 11:03 am |
Photoshop him in laying in bed that exact way with a sheet around him…
… what. Wait? Where was I?
March 21, 2007 at 11:07 am |
It’s the raised eyebrow. It’s a (lady)killer.
March 21, 2007 at 11:20 am |
I believe that’s Jacoby Ellsbury, the Sox first round draft pick in 2005.
March 21, 2007 at 11:23 am |
Here’s a picture of him getting his Bud Light Bukkake on with a teammate last year. Don’t say I never did nuthin’ for ya.
March 21, 2007 at 11:30 am |
Elric – I may have to pledge my eternal allegiance to you now. Exactly how does one become a subject of Melnibone, and where is it?
March 21, 2007 at 11:45 am |
Cinnamon Girl – it’s from an interesting series of fantasy novels by British author Michael Moorcock. His name makes me giggle, but he’s a fascinating writer.
Also, Ellsbury is a great defensive CF, and might, if they’re aggressive with him this year, compete for Sox opening day CFer in 2008. Though likely not. He receives Damon comparisons (speedy CF, below average arm, bats and throws left), but projects to less power. I sense big jersey sales in the New England area soon enough, especially amongst the Ladies…
March 21, 2007 at 11:47 am |
I don’t know who I need to worship more… Jacoby Ellsbury (because WOW he is even hotter in that pic) or Elric (for finding such a glorious photo).
I think it’s Elric.
March 21, 2007 at 11:53 am |
Nah, give the love to Ellsbury – he’s one of my favorite prospects.
John Sickels just did a comparison between Ellsbury and Felix Pie. The pic he’s got of Ellsbury is good for you Ladies… who like ‘em youthful (I think the card is an older one). Where is Bo Sox Sally, anyway?
March 21, 2007 at 11:58 am |
Texas Gal – Affirmed, it’s Elric. However, given the “hot” factor, I really don’t care about him as a prospect. Just keep the pics coming!
March 21, 2007 at 11:59 am |
Also, Ladies – I want to put in a formla request for the “Hump Day Hottie” to be a regular feature. It would give me a reason to come to work on Wednesdays … or to stay home. Hmmmm.
March 21, 2007 at 12:03 pm |
It has been and will continue to be, CG- never fear.
I apologize there was no HDH last week, that was totally my fault because I was in Florida for spring training. I think I might have even been at the Red Sox game that very day… And the week before I think there were approximately 10000000000000 basketball articles going on. But I’ll make sure and post fresh eye candy every Wednesday from now on.
March 21, 2007 at 12:40 pm |
*notes down ‘raised eyebrow’ = lady killer*
Thanks for the tip TG. I’m so walking around with a raised eyebrow all day tomorrow.
Wait, that sounds a bit desperate doesn’t it?
Alright, I’ll remember it for the hot bloggers bracket then!
March 21, 2007 at 12:49 pm |
Earlier in spring training, during an at bat, that guy got hit with a throw right in the face-by the CATCHER throwing it back to the pitcher-and he didn’t even flinch. There’s YouTube video evidence. This means two things:
1) That guy is tough.
2) I have accidentally signed the death warrant for that catcher who nearly ruined JE’s face.
March 21, 2007 at 1:17 pm |
OK, Mike- I *need* to see this video, like the desert needs the rain. A link to video evidence of his further hotness (tough = hott with two “t”s) gets you favorable treatment of the Tar Heels in my upcoming ACC Tourney championship post. Plus my undying love- so there’s that.
March 21, 2007 at 1:32 pm |
It was on Deadspin a week ago, but the video has been taken down on YouTube by MLB.
And I was mistaken. The guy who got beaned was Jeff Corsalletti, who has a non-roster invitee and had the same roster number. My bad.
March 21, 2007 at 1:33 pm |
The initial reports, however, including Deaspin, said that JE was the victim.
March 21, 2007 at 1:43 pm |
MLB hates the fans.
March 21, 2007 at 2:21 pm |
What TSW said. Kinda scary how easily I could picture him lying just like that next to me.
March 21, 2007 at 2:37 pm |
Dear God, he looks like that and he’s an Oregon State BEAVER? Excuse me while I go giggle uncontrollably.
March 21, 2007 at 2:59 pm |
Texas Gal:
If this is going to put UNC in your good graces, here’s a video of Jacoby warming up before a minor league game.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-625664620367772345&q=Jacoby+Ellsbury&hl=en
March 21, 2007 at 3:25 pm |
Oh, it does, Mike. Very nice.
Also, GordonShumway rules the school- fulfilling all the ladies’ (and the Ladies’…) wishes.
March 21, 2007 at 3:26 pm |
Ladies… while you picture him lying like that, instead of next to you, picture you as that unknown person with their left foot on his lower back, looking right down at his…..
I’ll let you go now.
March 21, 2007 at 3:50 pm |
Holy crap that is crazy hotness. And who took that video footage? It’s centered right on his (very nice) tushy the whole time! Though I would prefer it if he was wearing tighter pants…
March 21, 2007 at 3:55 pm |
@candybuttons: one minute and 49 seconds of pure, unadulterated joy watching the all-american pastime. And by that I mean baseball, of course.
March 21, 2007 at 4:19 pm |
Mike, you are my new (and only) favorite Tarheel. Thank you sir. Thank you.
March 22, 2007 at 3:25 pm |
Not really Mrs. Ellsbury but this guy is the hottest I’ve ever seen play ball. To watch him play …. it’s better than laying in bed next to him! Well, I don’t know that for sure but I would choose to just watch!
March 25, 2007 at 6:19 pm |
Navajo Indian, you say? That means he’s smooth.
Ladies…?
March 31, 2007 at 11:48 pm |
thats not ellsbury , thats kyle jackson a pitcher for the red sox.
May 12, 2007 at 10:52 pm |
Enjoy your eye candy while you can ladies, when he comes home to Oregon he’s all mine. Oh wait i can’t say that offically yet cause he’s got his friends and i have mine so i guess you could say we don’t believe in monogamy.
September 13, 2007 at 2:47 pm |
that IS Kyle Jackson. can he be a hump day hottie soon?
October 16, 2007 at 11:11 pm |
jesus christ that kid has the nicest jaw line ive ever seen in my life, especially that little muscle or what ever it is that goes when hes chewing gum. boy its nice to be a sox fan. getting to see him play in 2 games in september was pretty much glorious
October 22, 2007 at 4:16 pm |
As an Australian who recently moved to the US I was seriously struggling to find a sport that I could get into. My mate who’s a Boston native and huge Redsox fan tricks me into watching the game last night and WHAM! on comes Jacoby and I’m sold for life. Redsox you just earnt yourself a fan thanks to Jacoby Ellsbury. Your Mr Humpday is a super hottie!
October 29, 2007 at 8:54 pm |
[...] done today. And I’ll also credit the original source for Queerty, too: the ladies over at Ladies… that put together the alarm clock photo in, sadly, [...]
November 1, 2007 at 9:16 pm |
Y’know, I’ve become quite familiar with Jacoby in recent months and that really doesn’t look like him.
November 21, 2007 at 7:21 pm |
Sorry to disappoint… this is not a picture of Jacoby, It is Kyle Jackson who is on the 40 man roster. He played all year in Portland , Me with the Seadogs!
January 2, 2008 at 4:12 pm |
Kyle….Jacoby….whatever…
Red Sox + Hotness = OK by me.
May 7, 2009 at 10:55 pm |
just passing thru….
Looking for something else, but nice site. Have an excellent day….