A “Hot Men” Sportscaster bracket? A response in two parts: Part One: “Would you do Berman?”

Our first dip into the mailbag! In this edition, we address reader Becky’s suggestion that we do Men’s Sportscaster bracket in a response to the “Would you do…” tourney going on over at The Big Picture.

Since there are eight of us, you can imagine how the responses went. Take it away Becky…

Hey girls, Just had a g-chat w/ Dan Shanoff about something, and wanted to pass it along to you.

Daniel: have you seen that “Would You Do?” Tournament of women of sports TV?Daniel: Well, I thought that it’s time for you to launch your own sports blog, with the “Would You Do?” Tournament of men of sports TV. it would be huge. even if you never posted on the blog again, you would create a sensation.

me: did you have a field in mind?

Daniel: no, not really. I just saw the women’s tournament and I thought someone needed to do a men’s tournament and I thought you could do it justice.

If y’all haven’t seen it yet, it’s over here: http://zachls.blogspot.com/

As it turns out, I do blog a bit, but thought this task would be much more up you guys’ alleys. I personally don’t have enough time or photoshopping/blogging skillz to pull this off the right way. You ladies… do and it kinda fits your theme. Me, I just post random pics of Alex Smith or Boki Nachbar as a nice afterthought to some other rant. And I think you could do a fantastic job w/ this and do it much more justice than I could.So yeah. That is all. Keep up the great work gals, I’m enjoying the blog immensely. ~Becky

TheStarterWife -

Thanks Becky!

I would just worry Berman would end up on top, and I could never have sex again. (And unfortunately, the one sportscaster I ever did want to sleep with, Keith Olbermann, no longer covers sports.)

But you never know… maybe we can see what happens after our Hottie March Madness bracket.

Ladies…

gordonshumay –

You know I’d be up for it, any time.

Photoshoppery + things to write at work, giving me the appearance of looking infinitely busier that I am = Happiness.

Becky –

Berman on top…ewwwww.

gordonshumay -

Just putting ‘Berman’ and ‘sex’ in the same sentence sent me rumblin’, stumblin’, bumblin’ for a trashcan. And some Dramamine.

Clare –

I’m going backbackbackbackback to the bathroom.

Becky –

You’re with me, Pepto.

TheStarterWife –

Eh. Enough cocktails and we all be done for around Berman. We’d remember when we didn’t think he was bag of hot air, and thought his jokes were funny, and damn, maybe we should not have been ignoring him all this time.

(And you know we have all done that at the end of a long night of drinking. Ok. Well, at least me.)

It would be the MORNING AFTER that would crush our souls…

Clare –

TSW, I really do not think I could ever get drunk enough to do it with Berman. It’d be like sleeping with my uncle: balding, round in the middle, tells bad jokes and wears Tommy Bahama shirts and khakis with a navy blazer.

TheStarterWife –

Yes, but is your uncle pretty rich? (I don’t know what Berman’s contracts are worth, but I am sure we could easily find that out.)

It helps when the Tommy Bahama coconut-tinged cologne smells like money.

I did mention many, many, many, cocktails, right?

gordonshumay –

Huh-uh. Unless by “cocktails”, you mean “roofies”.

Texas Gal –

Stop. Just stop. You have gone too far this time, TSW. No no no no no no, a thousand times no. There are not enough cocktails in the world to make me be with him, leather.

gordonshumay -

No way, TSW. If I awoke to see Chris Berman sleeping on the other side of my bed, I would seal off my nether regions permanently, Cask of Amontillado-style.

Becky –

I would just like to go on record as saying “Wouldn’t.” DEFINITELY wouldn’t. No judgment though.

For argument’s sake though, when playing the “Would You or Wouldn’t You ?” game a couple weeks ago, my best friend said “DEFINITELY would” to Stu Scott.

You may now recoil in horror.

Texas Gal –

So, the real question is: Shag/Marry/Cliff – Berman, Stu Scott, Brent Musberger?

TheStarterWife –

Fine. So when our backs are too the wall and one of us has to sleep with Berman for the story, thus paving the way for one the greatest sports-related-but-not-really-about-sports-or-at-least-we-hope-he-is-not-into-that-type-of-“sports” blog posts – I will be the person who answers that call.

Unless he plays Hootie and the Blowfish. Then I’m out.

Becky –

Easy-

Shag Stu (Roofie Colada, please!)

Marry Mus (he’s sure to die first! plus, this!)

Cliff Boomer (nobody is worse…nobody)

p.s. sorry for crashing your Ladies… party. unexpected slow day at work.

LadyAndrea –

Sorry, I’ve been busy all day and feel so out of the loop.

A bracket of sports broadcasters would be awesome, but if the finals wasn’t a match up between Jay Bilas and Kirk Herbstreit, something is severely wrong.
PS: no amount of alcohol ever, TSW. Sleeping with Berman is only slightly less disturbing to me than sleeping with my dad.

TheStarterWife -

Don’t worry, I am sure Metschick’s head is going to explode when she sees these. ;-)

(And I don’t think we heard from Holly on this…)

SA –

Becky, thanks for tipping us. That would be a good idea, but yeah after we do the March Madness Bracket. In fact, that would be a better way of combining the whole vote thing I suggested.

There is nothing that would make me sleep with Berman. Nothing. And I tend to like the older guys.

Yep, Herbie or Jay Bilas isn’t the last one standing…well, I don’t know what I’ll do (although I do have a thing for Rece Davis).

LadyAndrea –

Yeah Rece is cute and so is Doug Gottlieb. I think that’s my personal Final Four right there.

Becky –

Josh Elliott.

Tim Legler anyone?

My girl friend swears Steve Kerr is hot too, just to throw some love to a non-WWL entity…

Clare –

We’re really doing a dude sportscasters’ bracket? Oh. Well.

My picks are Dan Marino and Cris Collinsworth (I love the lanky ones).

SA –

Mmm…Josh Elliot…

Clare –

Uh, I just learned the hard way that there is a Josh Elliot who performs in adult films. So Google carefully, y’all.

Texas Gal¬†–

I have to put Craig James in there, too. Now granted, he is DEFINITELY no Kirk Cutestreit, but he’s still good looking. Plus, he went to a Texas school, so I’ve got that bias.

Holly -

> (And I don’t think we heard from Holly on this…)

I’ve been busily ASPHYXIATING ON MY OWN VOMIT, thank you very much.

(Somehow, please consider that a “yea” vote for the idea of a bracket.)

SA –

OMG Holly, are you doing better?

Holly –

Sorry if I worried anyone, that was a Berman-related barf joke. I’m actually fine. On the outside.

So yes, we will do a men’s sportscasters bracket at some point. But why bother now, when there are sooooo many hot college players to cover? Look for Part Two once we get through March.

UPDATE – If you Google Image Search¬†“Sexy Berman” you will get pics of vibrating panties.

33 thoughts on “A “Hot Men” Sportscaster bracket? A response in two parts: Part One: “Would you do Berman?”

  1. I meant to point this out at the time, but I think, given Olbermann’s presence on ESPN Radio, we can totally count him in.

    Because I would count him in.

    Into my pants.

  2. “I would count him in. Into my pants”

    I think along with Santa-ed, that is my new catchphrase.

    Also, I think I’m the only girl who mentioned Bilas, but damn, I would climb that tall lanky fella like a tree. And since he’s a Dukie, it’s a double-bonus because of the hate-sex factor.

  3. What about poor ol’ Stuey? Would there be some sort of “pity” sex category? (Of couse, that may only include Stuey and Chris “The Hair” Collinsworth, which is sort of like asking whether you’d like to be eaten alive by an alligator or a crocodile.)

  4. No love for Doug Gottlieb? He’s so little and he kind of looks like maybe he’s never known the touch of a woman before. Makes me want to do bad, bad things to him.

  5. LA: I don’t know. I think he’s so cute.

    I reserve the right to change my mind if (when) it comes out that he’d give interns his dick in a box for Christmas.

  6. first off, thanks, you have done sports chicks everywhere a great service.

    was gonna say ahmad rashad but if keith olbermann is on the list, discussion closed for me. beauty and brains.

    berman would have to “make it rain” hurricane katrina-style to get me within 100 yards. but i would love to get a peek at sean junior, so i could point and laugh.

  7. Plus, Gottleib quotes Deadspin commenters in his discussion on College Basketball Gameday, so you’d have something in common.

    In fact, you could hold his performance over his head, & if he’s good enough, recommend him for DS comment privileges.

    Yup.

  8. The Hot Blogger idea is actually one we’ve been tossing around since the site’s conception. The format for that won’t be brackets, exactly, but….well, you’ll see. I promise, it’s going to be awesome. Like, awesome in the Biblical disaster sense.

  9. “Would you do Berman?”

    That thought almost made me barf up my morning McGriddle…

    Good post ladies…sad to see that Tony “Statboy” Reali (Around the horn host) got no love.

  10. Three words: Dream Job Mike. (The winner of the first season of ESPN Dream Job) Cute, a tad on the geeky side, funny, and hot. I watched random hours of ESPNNews in order to see him anchor.

    Then they moved him to ESPN U, which I’m always tempted to lay out the money for everytime I sign up for a new cable package.

    Off-topic: I love the site!!! I’m so excited I’ve found it!

  11. Pingback: Busted Coverage: Booze, Ladies And Football » Stuart Scott Has A Giant Tree On His Shirt

  12. Pingback: Stuart Scott Has A Giant (Oak?) Tree On His Shirt

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