The Boys of the Banner

When the Ladies… first conceived this site, one of our starting points was a discussion of the most delectable men in sports. One thing led to another (we do love saying that), the lovely J-Money whipped up our beautiful art (don’t stare too long; you’ll go blind), and here we have our first shrine to some of the sweetest eye-candy in America.

We paw at each individual snacktreat after the jump. Don’t go spoiling your dinner, now…

Left to right:

TexasGal:  Brett Favre
Brett is pretty much the world’s most perfect man. Tall, rugged good looks, killer facial scruff, wicked sense of humor, Southern drawl, ballsy (with a touch of danger), tough as nails with a gorgeous smile– and hunting and fishing skills to boot. His body is stacked and packed, without being annoyingly over-maintained- he works out to make his body function better on the field, not to make the other guys in the gym jealous. His butt in football pants has been cited by the Green Bay PD on at least 12 occasions for exceeding the hotness limit. Oh, and the Super Bowl ring and MVP hardware don’t hurt, either.

Lady Andrea:  Scott Rolen
He’s 6’4″, 230 lbs, with a gritty, down-turned mouth that makes the sexiest scowl when he’s at the plate. In his 10 years of playing in the majors he has won 7 Gold Gloves; there are only 2 former 3rd basemen who have more. One of those, Mike Schmidt, has said that Rolen is the best defensive 3rd basemen to ever play the game and that sentiment is often echoed by baseball experts. Defense is hardly his only talent, however. Rolen had a career season in 2004, hitting .314 with 124 RBIs and a 4th place MVP finish. Scott also hit a team-leading .421 in the 2006 World Series. Finally, what’s the hottest thing about Scott Rolen? Watching him field a seemingly impossible-to-get-to-hit and whip it over to first base for the out. It’s positively orgasmic.

Holly:  Tom Brady
Now, I’m a true-blue Colts fan. I have a Peyton Manning Fathead on my wall. So I’m not gonna lie: I was conflicted when, through the wonders of the Yahoo! Auto Draft, Tommy became the starting quarterback of my fantasy team. Naming him to the All-Hair Team is one thing, but actual emotional investment in the Patriots seemed too much to ask. Then one night at a Colts-Pats party, after infamously shrieking, “YOU HUSH YOUR WET, SEXY, PETULANT-LIPPED MOUTH, TOM BRADY!!” during his postgame interview, I had a revelation: What’s hotter than Hate Sex? Nothing, especially when he’s got that pouty lower lip working overtime because your team just scored 32 second-half points to win the AFC Championship.

Metschick:  Carlos Beltran
Even though the last memory I have of Carlos Beltran is him with his bat firmly affixed to his shoulder, I can’t be mad at him. It hurt that he didn’t swing, but that final pitch was ridiculous – and I think he should’ve swung at the first pitch. Anyway, we here at Ladies… aren’t just about the looks; we’re about sooo much more. We all know that a player isn’t defined simply by one moment (even in the NY media). Carlos’s bat and glove were a big reason why the Mets even got into the playoffs. (Another one was the general suckitude of the NL East, but we’re gonna focus on the hot.) The man had 41 homeruns, 116 RBIs, and a sparkling .982 OPS. Coupled with that, he provided gold-glove defense in center field. And he did all that while looking delicious. Those dimples, yum. And that’s why he’s my hottie.

Consensus Pick:  Pat Burrell
No particular Lady claimed Burrell as her own, but he came up so often in the discussion that we gave him an honorable mention. Burrell is one of our few single Banner Boys, so get your mitts ready and head for Philadelphia, and maybe he’ll ring your liberty bell. Phillies fans started referring to him as “Pat the Bat” after his break-out season in 2002 when he hit 37 HRs and 116 RBIs; we prefer to think he is called that for other reasons. Since the 2002 season, Burrell hasn’t had quite the success he showed that year and Phillies fans, being the lovely people that they are, have taken to booing him regularly. However, we here at Ladies… think he is a fine specimen of man, regardless of what he does at the plate.

Clare:  Cole Hamels
6’3″, 175 – What is it about Cole Hamels? Is it the lanky, coltish frame? Is it the 4.08 ERA? Is it the adorably ruddy cheeks? Is it the 145 K’s in only 23 MLB games? Is it the aw-shucks boyish charm? Is it the poise he displays on the mound, remarkable in a player of only 23? Is it the almost yogic way he goes into his windup? Is it how he broke his hand in a 2005 bar fight, defending a friend’s girlfriend? Is it the ballsy way he asked out Heidi Strobel? Is it the fact that he smells like strawberry-peppermint lotion?  (Click on “Locker Room.”) The answer is YES.

10 thoughts on “The Boys of the Banner

  1. I do love the baseball and football boys most of all — but I confess affection for Olympic swimmers, soccer players and golfers. I also like UFC fighters, but that’s a whole other story…

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